Birth of an Ordinary Life
by Multifandomfuckfest
Summary: What happens when Donna wakes up with missing memories only to find out the Doctor has somehow been turned into an infant.
1. Chapter 1

Donna Noble was used to strange happenings. So, when she awoke to a cry in an unfamiliar bedroom foggy headed she didn't give it a second chance, "oi, what happened last night," she murmured opening her eyes. Forcing her eye lids to remain open in order to allow her eyes to focus Donna peered around the room. She certainly had never been here before. In fact it looked like an office. Before her was a cluttered old fashioned desk. On one side was something she would barely classify as a book shelf and monitors in odd places.

Pushing the light blanket off of her Donna sat up, looking around. The walls were see through, outside was more equipment and screens. Through the door she could see a man with his back to her. He couldn't be the Doctor, nowhere near slim enough, yet he wore a long coat that rivaled that of her spaceman's. Standing Donna felt a rush of dizziness course through her. She was trying not to focus on the fear that lingered at the back of her mind but that quickly subsided once she saw the TARDIS safely parked.

"Here," Martha said walking up to the man and handing him a bottle, "little guy sure likes to eat," she chuckled.

The man nodded as he took the bottle and adjusted himself, "no doubt like his father," he agreed. Donna couldn't see what was in his arms from this vantage point but she figured it must be a small child.

Seeing Martha had convinced Donna that there certainly was nothing to fear and she shuffled out into the open area wiping the sleep from her eyes, "how much trouble did we get into last night," she asked coming up to them.

They both turned in unison, revealing that the man was in fact holding a child, a young one at that, it couldn't be much more than a week old. "Donna, you're awake? How are you feeling," Martha worried.

"Rough to say the least. How much did we drink," she mumbled as her head began to pound.

The small child in the man's arms began to whimper, "I think he wants his mom," the man suggested looking at Donna.

"Is she with the Doctor," Donna inquired, "how mad is he about last night," she worried aloud.

Martha and the man shared a look before Martha carefully began to approach her as if someone would a rabid animal, "Donna what do you remember," she carefully asked.

Donna thought back and it took some serious concentration focus on her last memory, "the Doctor and I were investigating some company. He promised a proper vacation after. Isn't that how we got here," she puzzled. Seeing their faces is what made her worry, "where is he," Donna pushed suddenly needing to see him.

"We don't know," Martha answered. "He wasn't with you when you landed."

She shook her head, "what do you mean? That's rubbish. I certainly don't know how to fly the TARDIS that well. What is this some retribution over drinking too much and calling him a pansy," Donna questioned.

The baby in the man's arm fussed again. He removed the bottle from its mouth and shifted the child so that he could burp it, "this baby isn't yours," the man asked.

"Oh God no," Donna cackled, "what is it with you two? Where is the Doctor," she demanded.

"Maybe you should sit down," Martha suggested.

Donna shook her head refusing to, "what is going on," she growled. "And don't lie to me either," she warned Martha.

Martha took a deep breath, "the TARDIS materialized here last night while we were working late," she began. "We waited but no one came out."

"It's a good think Martha still had her key," the man interrupted.

She took a step toward Donna, "you were lying on the grating cradling the child in that," Martha pointed to what Donna was wearing.

Looking down she realized she was wearing a hospital gown, "what in the," Donna gasped. "Where was the Doctor? Where is he," her voice screeched in panic.

"We couldn't find him anywhere. We searched all over the TARDIS," Martha explained.

"Did you try his cell," Donna pushed feeling herself get worked up.

Frowning she nodded, "he didn't answer. The phone is on the TARDIS."

"If I was passed out I couldn't have piloted," Donna realized. That only meant one thing, emergency protocol one, "oh God," she sputtered, "he's dead." At this realization Donna's legs gave out allowing her to collapse to the floor.

Rushing to her side Martha helped her up and to a chair as the child in the man's arms began to fuss more, "he really wants his mom," the man urged.

"If I don't know where the Doctor is then I certainly don't know where his mum is," she sobbed. How could she have let something happen to the Doctor?

The man placed the baby into a cradle that had taken residence on a nearby desk and began rocking it, "are you sure the baby isn't yours," Martha suggested.

"Wouldn't I know if I had a child," she lamented.

"You clearly have holes in your memory, are wearing a hospital gown and are married. The child would fit you more than us," he pointed out.

Donna couldn't believe her ears, "I'm not married," she protested, "see no," she paused looking down at the simple gold band on her finger. It wasn't any old band but that which the Doctor had given her that far away day on top of a London building, "I can't be. He can't be. I'd remember. I'd remember if I was married. I'd remember if I became a mum right," she rambled in disbelief.

"We are going to figure out what happened," Martha promised taking Donna's hand. "I should check you out and then we can find something for you to wear," she offered forcing a smile on her face.

Before Donna could gather her thought and stand an alarm began to sound. The man, who Donna still had not been introduced to detached his cell phone from his belt looking at it, "We've got a call. I have to go. I'll call the team. Martha we're going to need you," he noted.

Martha looked up at him, "Jack we're a little busy here at the moment," she reminded him. He took a step forward, showing her the screen, "shit," Martha muttered pausing for a moment. "You're going to have to call Tosh," she resigned, "I'm not leaving," Martha decided.

"I have to go," Jack repeated, "call if you need anything. I'll try to keep things under control," he said jetting out.

Donna let the silence linger between them, "what is this place," she finally asked looking around at the cold demeanor of everything.

"Torchwood," she explained, "think more secret than MI-5," Martha noted.

"And that man," pushed Donna.

Smiling Martha sighed, "that is Captain Jack Harkness. Hasn't the," she paused realizing it might not be the best subject to bring up the missing Doctor when so much was still unknown.

"Yeah," she nodded, "but I had never seen him." The baby began to cry and Donna's heart ached. Martha stood up to attend to the child but before she could pick him up Donna stood, "don't. Let me," she insisted although not entirely sure why.

The baby continued to cry as Martha met Donna's eyes, watching her carefully, "it's no bother," she assured her.

Walking over to the cradle Donna looked at the baby for the first time. He was a beautiful child by any description. The fine brown hair covered his head and his eyes were wide open. Once he saw Donna hovering over him he stopped crying instantly, "hello there," she reaching down to pick him up, "there's nothing to worry about," Donna reassured him gently rocking the child.

He cooed in her arms as Martha looked on, "he likes you," she commented. "How did you know he was a boy," Martha asked.

Looking up at Martha she shrugged, "I don't know. He just seems like a boy, don't you," Donna chatted turning back to the baby in her arms. "The problem is you need a name don't you sweet thing. What are we going to call you," she continued as the baby mewed. She turned to Martha again, "what does he look like to you," she asked taking in his beautiful brow eyes.

"James," she suggested as the baby grunted.

Donna laughed, "I don't think he likes that, do you little one," Donna beamed. She briefly thought about the odd fact that she felt oddly comfortable around this child, maybe he was hers. "You don't seem to be an Ethan either," she decided.

Martha watched Donna's interaction with the child, "Alec," she suggested.

"Alec, Al-lick," Donna enunciated, "no, not an Alec," she shot down as the child flailed his little arm up gripping her breast through the hospital gown. "What about Thomas," she questioned. At hearing this name the child's head turned toward her body nuzzling against her breast and closed his eyes, "I think Thomas it is," Donna giggled.

Noticing the fondness Donna exhibited for the baby Martha couldn't help but smile, "I think he is sleepy. Do you want to set him down and we can make sure you are okay," she proposed.

"Have you looked him over," Donna worried realizing that he also could have something wrong.

Taking a step closer Martha softly cupped Thomas' head feeling his soft skin, "I already did. When you first got here I scanned over you to make sure you were ok then thoroughly gave him a physical," she assured her.

"He's healthy," Donna inquired, "he feels a bit cool," she fretted.

Martha withdrew her hand, "he is perfectly healthy," she repeated. "I think his core temperature is lower because of his time lord genes," she revealed.

"Time lord," Donna choked out, "he's a time lord," she began to panic. There was only one way Donna knew that this child could be a time lord and the fact that she felt so connected to him didn't bode well. Donna faltered looking for somewhere to quickly sit. She plopped down in the chair still holding Thomas, "I'm a mum. The Doctor and I. Something must have," Donna started before remembering how the last child of the Doctor's came to be. "Maybe it's like Jenny," she countered her own mind before hopefully looking up at Martha.

Her shoulders sunk, "I only gave him a physical," Martha confessed.

"Then how do you know he's a time lord," Donna dared praying that she was wrong.

"He has two hearts," Martha confessed making Donna even more conflicted.

Two hearts. Just like how she had proved to the Doctor that Jenny was his. But you didn't just generate a baby. She and the Doctor. Something must have happened. How long had they been investigating that company? Donna burst into tears at all the unknowns, "why can't I remember," she sobbed.

Reaching out Martha went for the child, "here let me take him," she said as Donna handed Thomas over willingly hiding her face in her hand. Placing him in the cot Martha returned to Donna's side, "I don't know why but Jack and I will do everything we can to help you find your missing memories. We'll help with the baby too," she promised.

Sniffing her tears Donna reached out hugging Martha, "what am I going to do," she whimpered.

"We will help you through. We'll take it one day at the time. And we will find the Doctor," she vowed.


	2. Chapter 2

Walking down the stairs and into the medical room Donna held the cot close to her. Not out of fear for Thomas but rather as a way to avoid what they were about to do. The little blanket that lay over him left only his tiny fists and head visible. His left fist met his pursed lips as if he was pressing a kiss to them. His plump little cheeks and angelic closed eyelids made her want to hold him even more. She tenderly stroked a finger across his cheek causing him to open his mouth and Donna smiled at the innate trust the small child had in her.

Martha opened the door, "you can set him here," she said clearing an area for Donna to place the cot.

Seeing a medical gown on the counter Donna suddenly felt disgusted, "can I change into one of those," she hoped.

"Yes," Martha agreed. "We'll keep that one and maybe it can provide us with a clue," she hoped.

Donna just wanted to be free of the gown that she couldn't remember. She flawlessly slipped one off as she scurried into the other one without revealing any of her body, "um," he voice faltered, "do you need my pants off," she questioned looking down at her black underwear.

"Hopefully not. I can tell from an external ultrasound if you've given birth in the last six weeks," she informed Donna.

Nodding she listened, "what if it was longer than that," Donna worried.

"He isn't more than eight weeks old," Martha assured her.

Donna sat on the exam table laying back. She closed her eyes rather than stare at the ceiling. The only thing on her mind was Thomas. Thinking of him calmed her although she wasn't sure why. But the idea she could be his mother was something she suddenly wanted more than anything. She pulled her gown up, revealing her stomach for Martha and then focused on Thomas. He would need a proper crib and clothes and toys. They would need a birth certificate of some sort for him too. Donna's body jerked as ice cold wand connected with her skin, "anything," she asked.

"There is no evidence that you have given birth recently nor been pregnant," Martha informed her.

It took a moment for Donna to gain her bearings again. He wasn't hers. Then who did he belong to? "Where is his mum then," she questioned refusing to open her eyes fearing the tears that were threatening would dare to escape.

"I don't know," Martha answered. Donna could hear her footsteps across the floor, "we could run his DNA. It could come back with information."

Taking a deep breath Donna shoved all the feelings down within her. She opened her eyes sitting up, "would it be able to tell if the Doctor is his father? He could be generated like Jenny right? A different type of machine," Donna found herself hoping.

"You know as well as I that with the Doctor anything is possible," she guessed.

Slipping off the Table she walked over picking the baby up. She looked at his sleeping form in her arms, beginning to pull open the onesie he was wearing, "where did you find the clothes for him," Donna asked.

"It was in the diaper bag you had," Martha recalled. Donna's eyes widened, "you didn't have a diaper bag if he isn't yours," she realized.

"Where is it? Where is the diaper bag," Donna asked furiously.

Martha thought back to where the last place she had seen it was, "Ianto's desk," she almost shouted in excitement.

Running up the stairs Donna was careful not to jostle little Thomas too much but that diaper bag could lead them to his mum as well as to the Doctor. Seeing it she used one hand trying to pull things out of it, diapers, formula, clothes, bottle, rattle, "there is nothing here," she frowned realizing that their lead had turned up empty.

The tears she had been holding gave way, "I just wanted him to have his mum," she sniffed, "everyone needs a mum and I thought that maybe we'd," Donna broke off.

"You thought it'd lead us to the Doctor. We have other options, let's go run his DNA and find out who his mum is," Martha suggested. Donna nodded as they headed through the door to the lab on the left. Donna continued to undress the baby, "I just need his foot," she explained.

Donna pulled the tiny foot and toes out. Feeling the coolness against his body the baby shivered nuzzling his face into her chest again seeking warmth, "he is rather precious," Donna smiled gently stroking the bottom of his foot as his toes curled in response.

Preparing everything she would need to run the DNA sample Martha laid out the instruments on the counter, "he sort of makes me wonder if I wouldn't like one of my own one day," she confessed turning to them with a pin and microscope slide.

"It won't hurt him too much," Donna hoped worrying her lip.

Smiling Martha alcohol swabbed the bottom of his foot, "he should barely feel it, just a prick," she assured Donna taking his foot in her hand and pricking it before allowing the blood to hit the microscope film. The baby only jerked a tiny bit before clutching Donna's shirt with his tiny hand. Setting the glass down she handed Donna a tiny patch bandage to place over the hole in his foot and prepared the slide for viewing.

"Shhh, you're okay," Donna rocked him zipping his outfit up. Putting the slide under the microscope Martha stiffened, "what is it? What's wrong," she gulped.

Martha tucked her hand into her pocked pulling out her phone and pressing speed dial, "Jack you need to get back here now," she ordered pausing for his response, "trust me this is way bigger," she said hanging up.

"You haven't run the DNA yet," Donna protested beginning to tremble. What could be that big that they needed Jack.

Liking her lips Martha sunk onto a nearby stool, "you better sit for this," she warned.

Donna's heart stopped, "the Doctor is his father," she pushed.

"That is the Doctor," Martha revealed.

She couldn't have heard her right, "no. How," Donna shook her head.

"I don't know," she sighed. Martha was a lost as Donna.

Looking down at the baby in her arms Donna couldn't fathom that it was her Doctor, "what happened to you," she questioned gently tracing the outline of his face.

The door to Torchwood burst open as Jack ran onto the floor, "what happened? Did you find the Doctor," he panted looking around for them.

"In here," Martha called still stunned.

"Did you find out where the Doctor is," Jack questioned.

Donna turned holding the baby as tightly as she could, "you're looking at him," she said beating Martha to the punch.

Jack froze, "seriously," he questioned as a smirk rose across his face.

"Don't," Donna warned, "this isn't something to joke about," she affirmed.

Nodding Jack agreed, "right," he said quickly thinking, "have you run the DNA?"

"Not yet I didn't need to I know it's his as soon as I saw the sample," explained Martha.

He turned to her, "the best thing we can do now is figure out what happened. Run the DNA, throw every test at it we have."

In her own little world Donna wandered out of the lab and into Jack's office. She sat on the couch staring at the Doctor in her arms, "we're going to find out what happened," she promised pressing a kiss to his forehead. Sitting there she rocked him until he arm became sore and continued even after it went numb. Donna didn't dare set him down, something bad could happen. She lost her memories and now look at what happened to the Doctor.

Stirring in her arms the Doctor opened his eyes. Welcomed by her smile he smiled in return, "good morning, did you have a nice nap," she asked. The Doctor stretched in her arms, opening his mouth he began to wail, "is someone hungry," Donna questioned standing up. Donna walked over to where the upturned diaper bag was. Had the TARDIS provided it for them? She measured out the correct amount of formula and went over to the water tap finishing preparation.

Donna hadn't even noticed that the Doctor had calmed as soon as he had seen the bottle until she went to offer it to him, "of course you'd be a smart baby," she smiled placing the bottle in his mouth. She leaned in breathing him in and lingering her lips by his ear, "send me a message, something, tell me what to do," Donna begged.

Jack and Martha approached her, "can we talk," they asked.

Taking a deep breath she knew this couldn't be good by the looks on their faces, "you don't know what happened do you," she said already knowing the answer.

"No," Jack noted.

"So you don't now how to undo it," clarified Donna.

Martha leaned against the counter obviously drained, "nothing about his DNA has been altered. It's exactly the same. No drugs in his system, nothing. There is no explanation," she responded.

"We have to wait, continue researching," Jack suggested.

Donna shook her head, "what and then once he's old enough to talk he'll be able to explain what we need to do," she shot.

The two of them stared at her, "hopefully we find out how to fix it on our own," Jack said optimistically.

"Hopefully," she scoffed, "my best friend is trapped inside a baby's body. We don't know how it happened or what took place. What if it happens to me?"

Martha placed her hand on Donna's shoulder, "we haven't given up," she began. "We still have the TARDIS. Maybe I can find where you guys were. We could run more tests, try to find out why your memories are gone," she suggested.

"And if that does nothing," she sighed.

Jack shoved his hand in his pocket, "we find a home to raise him until he remembers," he offered.

"No," protested Donna, "that's not an option. He's not leaving my side. I'm not, I'm not leaving his," she instructed.

Nodding Jack smiled, "then we'll help you," he promised.


	3. Chapter 3

The last two weeks Donna and the Doctor had established a pattern. Their days would be spent at Torchwood running tests and hoping that something would be discovered to help restore the Doctor. At night Donna and he would nap and play at the hotel Jack had provided for them. It was full of toys and items, everything an infant his age would every want or need. It was during the night hours that Donna felt most comfortable, curled up in her jim jams, as the Doctor sat in the bouncer or laid beside her in his mosses basket looking up and smiling at her, like he trusted her completely. Then again he was a baby, he had not much of a choice other than to blindly trust her.

During those fourteen days they had learned a lot. She had quickly discovered he wasn't a fan of dummies. Spitting them out every time anyone propped one in his mouth, no he much rather preferred her finger. He didn't like the harness either, preferring a sling so he could be closer to Donna even if it meant she was kicked more. His legs were always moving just like his grown self. The Doctor also loved to be tickled, whether it was his feet or belly he loved it and would laugh for hours at a time. However, he was not a fan of baths or nappy changes most likely due to his lacking clothes, or so Donna assumed.

It was on the fifteenth day that Jack sat her down privately in his office. Donna knew it wasn't going to be a good conversation from the look on his face, "we've tried everything," he began, "the TARDIS either can't or won't tell us where you were or what happened. The few times we've tried to scan him he screams for hours, even your own scans have not been easy," Jack continued.

"So what you're going to give up," scoffed Dona unable to believe that he was trying to urge her in this direction.

He frowned taking a bottle out of his desk and pouring himself a drink, "want one," asked Jack holding the bottle of whiskey up in offering.

She looked down at the Doctor sleeping in her arms, "does it look like I want one," she deadpanned.

"Donna I think it's time we move onto the next step," he suggested.

Clutching the Doctor closer to her, fear coursed through her, "what exactly is that," she worried.

"Waiting until he can tell us what to do," Jack explained.

Donna nodded thinking over what he said, "we raise him, like a normal kid," she said plainly. Jack opened his mouth to protest, "no, there is no other option because what if he never remembers?"

"I can find a family," he agreed.

"No, just like I said before I'm not leaving his side. He's my best friend Jack," she paused looking at him, "he's defenseless," her voice quivered.

Smiling Jack opened his drawer pulling out a file. He stood and walked over sitting beside her, opening it, "that's what I thought you would say."

"You planned this," she asked confused.

"One thing I learned long ago, always have a back up plan. I've had my people working on this the last week," he said opening the folder. A key fell out into his hand as he began to flip through paperwork, "birth certificates, lease agreements, bank accounts, a car, everything you could ever need," Jack showed her.

She took the birth certificate into her hand, reading it, Thomas John Smith born at University Hospital of Wales on the 23 of November 2009 and 22:35 to mother Donna Smith and father John Smith, deceased. "If anyone asks you were married to his father, John and widowed. Anyone who looks it up will find this," he said holding up a photograph of her and the Doctor on the day they met, a staged announcement and forged wedding certificate.

"What about my family? It's going to be Christmas soon. My mum will never forgive me. I can't just show up with a baby," she rambled.

Jack grinned taking another drink of whiskey, "we can plant memories or wipe them," he hinted.

Licking her lips Donna considered it for a moment, "we'd only have to manipulate one," she snickered. Donna shook her head, "I guess I can tell her I adopted," she shrugged.

"I could baby sit," he offered.

Donna eyed him chewing on her lip, "or not," she clarified.

There was a knock on his door and Donna looked up to see Martha standing there, "do you want to have a look at your new flat," she asked.

"I have to go to the hotel, pack our things and," she was cut off mid-sentence.

"It's already been done," Jack interrupted, "and you'll be needing this," he said handing Donna a credit card under her new alias.

She took the card looking at it, "you certainly were sure of yourselves," she skeptically said.

"We tried everything Donna and I told him you wouldn't leave the Doctor. I," Martha cleared he throat looking at Jack, "we wanted to make sure that you had everything you need and more. Especially since we don't know how long this will take. You're a stone's throw away so if anything happens you can be protected," Martha assured her.

Standing Donna walked over hugging Martha then Jack, "thank you two," she said. If she was stuck without the Doctor in a working form the TARDIS sure got it right when she landed herself in Torchwood.

"Wait until you see it," Martha exclaimed giddy.

Donna laughed at her behavior, "I'm sure it'll be fine," she acknowledged.

Taking her hand Martha shook her head, "no, really, I've seen it. Jack really out did himself."

Buttoning up her coat with the Doctor close inside as they walked out the door Donna quickly realized they weren't kidding when they said her new apartment was close. They walked across the street and turned right entering into the apartments there. Using her key to let them into to where she and the Doctor would reside the next few months Donna was awestruck. The open floor plan showed a fantastic open living room, kitchen and dining room combination.

What shocked her most was everything was already set up. The white kitchen cabinets were completely stocked with dishes and cooking utensils. Thankfully there was a huge coffee maker plugged into the tile back splash. The light wood floors led to a brown couch and recliner set in front of a television and the baby necessities that they had already procured, "everything has already been baby proofed and your bills are set to be taken care of," Jack confirmed before Donna even had the thought. He took her hand tugging her out of the room, "come see his," Jack urged.

Seeing the Doctor's room her knees almost gave out, "oh Jack. Did you do this," she wondered in awe.

"I used to be a dad," he blushed meeting her eyes then looking down at the bundle obscured by her coat, "it's the room he deserves," he said.

Along the ceiling were twinkling lights, with a white crib against a light grey wall littered with silver constellations and planets. Above the crib read shoot for the moon, even if you miss, you'll land in the stars, with a painting of a boy sitting on a crescent. There were beakers, DNA structures and nuclei all over the crib bedding with a mural of electronic waves on another wall above a rocking chair.

Martha walked over to the chair and picked up a stuffed robot, "you brought him from the hotel," Donna smiled.

"I noticed he wasn't open and took it on myself," she explained, "I think he needs a friend," Martha said holding the robot out to Donna.

Taking it she looked at the grey, square stuffy, "I was scared to open him, that it would mean the Doctor isn't coming back," she teared up.

"I told Jack if the Doctor was getting a room fit for a king, then you deserved one for a queen. You really are a goddess for doing this all," she mentioned.

Donna let the complement disappear, "I'm only doing what any of us would," she assured Martha.

"Go look at your room," she urged, "first on the right, bathroom is on the left," she directed.

Walking down the hallway Donna felt extremely self-conscious. They had done so much for the Doctor and she didn't know how long he was going to be an infant, what if he changed back next week or tomorrow and she certainly didn't need anything more than a bed to sleep in. Opening the door it was very obvious that Donna had much more than a bed to sleep in.

Before her was a dark purple ruffle comforter across a beautiful be, there was a vanity in the corner with her items from the TARDIS. Next to the bed was a bassinet for the Doctor and a changing station. There was a television on the wall and a desk with a laptop and printer, "you really didn't need to," she started but Jack prevented her from finishing her protestation.

"Every file we have on the Doctor is loaded on that computer. Maybe there is something we're missing that you won't," he explained.

Stepping forward Martha patter his back, "that's my doing, I told him that the super temp in you wouldn't let go until you had tried everything," she smiled.

The doorbell rang jolting her, "who knows we're here," she panted protectively placing her arm over the Doctor inside her coat.

"That would be Ianto," Jack cheered leaving Martha and Donna.

Looking around Donna shook her head, "you guys really didn't have to," she repeated.

"For what you're doing you deserve everything. You know the Doctor would say that. Look at what he's done for my family and I," she reminded Donna. "I'm just a phone call away and so is Jack. You'll get to know Gwen, Ianto and Tosh more, I don't like that Owen much though," Martha confessed.

Donna bit her lip, "are you not sticking around then," she hoped but from the sounds of it she already knew the answer.

"I was on loan from UNIT. They need me back. Phone call away," she promised carefully embracing Donna and ensuring not to squish the Doctor.

Jack cleared his throat from the door, "dinner is ready and will soon be cold," he explained.

Following them out Donna could feel the Doctor begin to stir. Unzipping her coat she looked down into his bright brown eyes, "hello," she beamed, "our friends really have outdone themselves this time," she addressed him tickling his cheek. The Doctor began to fuss and Donna knew that only meant one thing, "I'll be out in a mo, gotta change a dirty nappy," she called turning back to the bedroom. Slipping her coat off Donna laid it on the bed taking the Doctor out of the sling. He opened his mouth beginning to wail as soon as she popped open the bottom of his jumpsuit, "don't you even mister," she warned, "we both know making a fuss isn't going to get this over any sooner," Donna said undoing his nappy and grabbing a wipe to clean up his mess.

Grabbing a fresh nappy she looked up seeing Jack, "doesn't sound like he enjoys that very much," he commented.

"Well would you if your mate was having to clean up your mess," she shot fastening the clean nappy. Seeing the grin on his face Donna shook her head, "don't," she growled, his reputation being well known to her already. "All done see," she said smiling at the Doctor as she hooked his outfit back together and picked him up. He smiled looking at her, "you're in there right? Please, give me a sign that you're in there," Donna begged as the Doctor cooed.

Jack came up beside her, "of course he is," he assured her, "here let me take him tonight," he offered. She was about to protest when he almost had the Doctor in his arms, "I'll be here. I'm not taking him anywhere. Just giving you a break so you can eat without a baby around your neck," he promised.

The Doctor smiled at Jack blowing bubbles with his spit, "okay," she sighed taking the sling off as Jack took the Doctor fully away from her.

She watched him carefully as they ate their coconut curry and tikka masala that Ianto had worked so very hard on. Donna even allowed herself a glass of imported Indus cabernet sauvignon that they had. When she was ready for bed Donna hugged Ianto, Martha and Jack goodnight after they agreed to let themselves out but Jack refused to let her take the Doctor with her, "I promise I'll bring him in and change him before I leave," he vowed. It was against her better judgment but the one glass had made her tipsy so with Martha's encouragement Donna ambled to bed and shed her clothes crawling into her new bed.


	4. Chapter 4

Waking to the noon sunlight it took a moment for Donna to realize where she was. Seeing the clock is what thrust her into panic mode. She looked around and the Doctor wasn't in her bed. Sitting up too fast Donna had to brace herself against the night table to catch her bearings before standing to find an empty bassinette. She pulled her phone off the table calling Martha as she ran into the nursery, "hello," Martha greeted.

"He's gone. The Doctor is gone. He's not in the crib I don't know where," she paused hearing the television on in the living room.

Peeking around the corner Jack was sitting on the couch holding the Doctor who was leaning against his knees giggling as he was tickled, "Donna," Martha worried.

"Never mind, Jack has him," Donna said mindlessly, "sorry," she apologized before hanging up.

Donna hurried over taking the Doctor from Jack and pressing kisses to his face, breathing him in to calm herself. The Doctor's eyes were wide, full of confusion, "do you know how scared I was? I thought someone kidnapped him," she snapped.

Jack raised his hands in innocence, "I'm sorry. He's fine. Look at him," he pointed out.

Maybe she had acted too harsh. Donna pressed another kiss to the Doctor, "I'm sorry," she said closing her eyes. "I just, I," she was lost for words.

"You panicked like any mom would not finding their child where they expected to," Jack reasoned.

"He's not my child," she reminded him although she was trying to remind herself more.

Standing Jack gave her a look, "he has been for the last two weeks. Sit, I'll make breakfast," he said walking over to the kitchen, "do you have anything in mind," Jack asked.

She didn't even hear his question she was so focused on the Doctor. Had he gotten bigger? He was holding his head up, on his own. Certainly he wasn't doing that last night, one night and she had already missed something major, "he's holding his head up," she exclaimed, "you are such a brilliant baby aren't you," she beamed pulling her head back as her cheeks blushed realizing what she said. Donna shook her head, "I'm sorry, of course that isn't a big milestone for you. You've already done this all before," she sighed.

"You can still be proud of him, it's above any age of a human baby," Jack said startling her. "What would you like for breakfast," he repeated his earlier question.

Licking her lips she shrugged her shoulders, "anything we have," she replied.

"You know he probably won't remember what is going on, his brain is most likely too small right now or he could repress these memories, you know the fact that you, Martha and I have all seen him naked at this point. I'd wish I could repress them if I were him," Jack laughed. Donna rolled her eyes ignoring him, "besides everyone enjoys encouragement," he reminded her. Well, that may be true enough she thought.

She put her finger in front of his face lightly pressing the tip of his nose, "you are rather cute," she whispered, "how could I not adore and praise everything you do when you look like this," she beamed. The Doctor reached his tiny palm out and grabbed her finger smiling back at her. She took the robot from the coffee table and began to make it walk towards him, sneaking up into the Doctor's vision field and capturing his nose causing the Doctor to squeal with delight.

Jack walked over handing her the eggs and a hot cup of coffee, "thank you," she said repositioning herself as he reached out to take the Doctor, "I've got him, you have things to do," she reminded him.

He frowned, "it's no bother," Jack offered.

"Go save the world or something," she smiled, "really, thank you for the breakfast. I think we're going to have a quiet day and maybe go to the park or get some Christmas decorations for this place," she said smiling at the Doctor and pressing a kiss to his nose, "would you like that? Go see Santa Clause? Although I'm sure you don't believe in Santa Clause," she laughed to herself.

"Just be careful and take your cell phone," he reminded her.

Donna looked up at him, "yes sir," she gibed back as he left before picking up the remote and changing the channel to something he supposed the Doctor would like. She repositioned him so he could see it and turned on the science channel. Donna was surprised to hear him begin to cry, "not in the mood for that today then," she said continuing to flip through the channels before the Doctor cooed as she met with Paddington bear. "You have got to be kidding me," Donna smirked leaning in and pressing a kiss to the side of his head.

As he watched Paddington bear on his many adventures Donna ate her eggs and drank her black coffee, not wanting to disturb the Doctor to get the all important creamer Jack forgot. When she was done she sat there watching the Doctor light up as she waited for the episode to finish. As the credits ran she turned the telly off and picked up the Doctor, "what shall we do today? Nice walk about the park? Down by the bay? Go to the mall? We do have a credit card," she beamed.

The Doctor just laid on his changing table kicking his feet about smiling as he watched Donna. His face went serious for a moment as his movements slowed and he gave a long grunt that was quickly followed by a large juicy fart, "if you think I am going to forget this when you're back," she roared with laughter beginning to unbutton his one piece. He began to fuss, "don't you even dream of crying after that show," she told him as his little lip quivered. Undoing the outfit Donna quickly realized a bath was going to be in order, "you've done it now mister oncoming storm," she sighed throwing the poop covered outfit into the bin followed by the diaper and worked to clean him up enough it wouldn't drip as she walked to the bathroom.

Running water into the baby tub Donna held the poop covered Doctor to her chest trying to prevent him from catching a chill. He reached up grabbing her hair, "oi," she warned taking it from his hand as he laughed, "you just wait until you have hair mister. I'll put you in a play group and hey can pull on your hair all they want," she paused. Thinking this over Donna shook her head, "what am I talking about the girls will be all over you, you'd be the six month old pimp making all the girls swoon," she rolled her eyes at the Doctor's ability to attract his so called unwanted attention. "And God forbid if you become a toddler. I will spank if I need to," she continued setting him down in the warm water and beginning to wash him, "don't you think for one moment if you deconstruct my television it'll be a game."

Unlike the other baths she had given him, he appeared to enjoy this one giggling and yipping as she soaped him up and he hit the water with his tiny fists. "All clean," she chirped taking the elephant hooded towel off the hook and wrapping him up in it, "let's go find you something to wear," Donna cheered. There were certainly plenty of outfits to choose from, for a long time. They really had outdone themselves. She couldn't help but laugh at some of the ones that resembled something the Doctor would wear. In fact, Donna couldn't resist picking out a body suit with a knotted tie down the front, black pants and converse looking socks.

Once the Doctor was properly dressed she snapped a picture and texted it to Martha unable to avoid sharing it with someone. Donna sat him in the bouncer on the bed while she got dressed. She paused looking at him before walking over and turning the bouncer slightly so he couldn't see her get dressed. Donna didn't want to take any chances. Picking out a red shirt to match the tie design and blue jeans Donna slipped into her bra noticing that it fit tighter than she had remembered. Donna took a deep breath before exhaling snapping the back and struggled to adjust the girls like she often did during that time of the month before tossing her shirt on. Once dressed she quickly pulled her hair up into a pony tail and grabbed a coat for the Doctor, bundling him up before working on herself. Set to go with a full nappy bag, formula and pram the two set off for their first day on the town.

The crisp autumn air wasn't as cool as she expected it to be as they walked to a nearby Tesco. Walking in Donna shopped around looking for Christmas gifts. Maybe if she found something good enough she could get out of going to visit her mum. Finding a few knick nacks and some adorable outfits she couldn't resist getting for the Doctor she went to check out, "you have such a lovely child," the clerk commented, "how old?"

Donna floundered for words, "um, he's um, 10 weeks," she guessed pulling the credit card out from her purse and glancing over at the Doctor.

"He looks just like you," she said scanning the items from Donna's basket.

She tried not to laugh, "um, thanks," she acknowledged.

"What's his name," the woman pushed.

"Thomas," Donna smiled.

The clerk typed in a barcode that refused to scan into the computer, "you and your husband must be so proud," she said making Donna almost break.

"No, we're not," she shot, "or, um, I mean," Donna sighed. She bit her lip staring at the Doctor, "sorry, um, lack of sleep and all. His father isn't around. He, um, he passed away before the birth," she lied.

The clerk gasped, "I'm so sorry," she apologized beginning to check Donna's items out faster. Paying Donna tried to escape as fast as she could. Walking along the sidewalk she wasn't sure why she felt so sad and helpless. Maybe she just hadn't prepared herself as well as she had thought.

Looking down at the sleeping Doctor she couldn't help but smile. The clerk was right, he was precious and completely adorable. As if reading her mind the Doctor startled away blinking his eyes at her. Donna reached down tucking the blanket closer around him to prevent the cool air from getting to him as the Doctor began to cry. Knowing what he wanted Donna provided him her finger as they walked the remaining few feet to the park.

Finding a bench Donna plucked him from the pram as she picked up the nappy bag filling the bottle with formula and giving it a good shake, "here you go," she soothed providing him with the nipple. She sat watching children play on swings and slides as she fed the Doctor. Donna was beginning to feel uncomfortable with how well this felt when she shouldn't be taking advantage of the Doctor's situation. These conflicted feelings were almost too much and completely confused her and messed with her emotions. She watched the Doctor who had brought a hand up to help hold his bottle, "I think that's beyond your age range too mister," she laughed shaking her head at him, "like I would expect anything else," she admired.

Her ringing phone startled her and she struggled to keep the bottle in the Doctor's mouth as she searched for it in her pocket. Seeing the caller ID didn't make her want to answer it anymore either but she knew she had to deal with this one day, "hello mum," she answered.

"Thanksgiving's come and past without as much as a word from you. Are you planning to do the same for Christmas," Sylvia inquired.

Donna gulped, "I've been busy mum," she began to protest.

"Too busy to call your mom and wish her well or let me know you're okay. The last I heard is you sent your gramps a postcard over six months ago. He said you've sent emails but not one phone call," she prattled on.

This was it, she had to say it, get it over with, pull the band-aid off. "Mum, I've moved to Cardiff," Donna began.

"Did you find a new man other than that ratchet doctor to pay your way," she shot.

Donna rolled her eyes, "no. I'm working here for a nice company," she sighed. "Um, actually, I have news, good news, great news," she hoped her mum would agree. "I've become a foster parent. I'm looking after a baby for a while. His name is Thomas and he has the most gorgeous brown eyes and cutest dimples," Donna explained.

"A baby? You're taking care of a baby? You're that well off with your job," Sylvia screeched surprised.

She couldn't help but smile, for her mum that chalked up to pride, "yeah. Well, he sort of landed in my lap. So, like I said I've been busy so I might not be able to make it to Christmas," she tried.

"You will do no such thing. You are raising a baby and you will certainly bring him here to visit," Sylvia declared. Donna could hear mumbling in the background, "yes dad Donna is fostering a baby and is bringing him to Christmas and boxing day," she told Wilfred. Rolling her eyes she knew her mum never got a hint but maybe the infant Doctor would be enough to keep her mum off her back.

Clearing her throat Donna looked down at the Doctor who was just finishing his bottle, "hold on mum," she instructed taking the bottle and turning him up to burp him, "I've really got to go, super busy raising a newborn you know," she partially fibbed. "I'll see about Christmas if I can," she said.

"Donna I want pictures. Send me pictures on the internet mail so your gramps and I can see," Sylvia begged.

"I will if I have time. Really got to go," Donna repeated hanging up. She set the phone on the pram edge as she began to burp the Doctor, patting his back and rubbing any potential gas up.


	5. Chapter 5

The next few days Donna and the Doctor had set into a new pattern. They would wake throughout the night, for feedings and diaper changes, and go for a walk to get fresh air or run errands, careful to avoid others that she was hesitant to interact with. The rest of their day consisted of tummy time and reading the many books on baby development Donna had picked up verifying that the Doctor was developing above that of a human child. Jack would stop by every other day and call multiple times a day to check in on them. It was at his insistence that Donna was even getting a tree. She knew the Doctor hated Christmas and she wasn't a big fan after her botched wedding but Jack said it would give her something to do and was bringing by a tree later that day.

Donna lay there in bed thinking about all the things she still had to do before the train ride the next week to visit her mum and gramps, everything that needed to be packed for the Doctor and all the gifts that still needed to be bought. They had been invited to the Torchwoood Christmas party and although Donna wasn't in a party mood she didn't dare tell Jack no. Not that she hadn't tried. And here she was unable to sleep focusing on everything that needed to be done rather than doing it.

The only thing Donna heard in the pitch black room was the wail of the Doctor. Rolling over she glanced at the clock before turning the side lamp on, "half past one. You only fed a half hour ago," she sighed, "wet already," Donna asked peering into the mosses basket that was still in use despite the perfectly fine crib and bassinette. She put her hand down, checking his diaper but it was dry, his little bottom lip was trembling and fresh tears sprang from his eyes much unlike his typical cries. "Oh baby, what's wrong," Donna questioned quickly picking him up and holding him to her. She bounced the Doctor gently pacing the room. Donna noticed that as she began to hum and was closer to the window the Doctor seemed to calm, "are you looking at the stars," she smiled. "Yeah, you like them don't you," Donna noted continuing to sway as she hummed.

The Doctor began to whimper, "hey, it's okay, you see all those stars, that great big world they're all watching over you," she promised him as she began to sing, "look at the stars, look how they shine for you and everything you do. Yeah, they were all yellow," she tiredly croaked out as the Doctor stilled in her arms looking at her. "I know it's not a traditional nursery rhyme but since when has any of this life been normal," she chuckled continuing, "I came along, I wrote a song for you. And all the things you do and it was called yellow. So then I took my turn, oh what a thing to have done and it was all yellow. Your skin, oh yeah, your skin and bones. Turn it to, to something beautiful. Do you know? You know I love you so, you know I love you so," Donna whispered the last part pressing a kiss to the Doctor's small little head and laid him in the bassinette for the first time since they had moved in. She turned the knob setting his star mobile into motion as twinkle, twinkle little star began to play and yawned crawling back into bed.

After finally falling asleep Donna was surprised to find the Doctor slept for his longest period yet without a feeding. She sat up seeing it was nearly nine and he hadn't even made a whimper for a nappy change. Scrubbing her face Donna flopped out of bed over to the bassinette. But the Doctor wasn't there. Instead was a note reading we are in the kitchen. You were both sleeping so I let myself in. She recognized that hand writing anywhere.

Laying on his stomach the Doctor was in his pushup position smiling brightly at her as Jack laid on the floor beside him, "you can't go around letting yourself in anytime you want even if you pay for this," she grumped walking over to the coffee maker. There was a fresh brewed pot and cup sitting out with creamer beside it, "not even if you come with coffee offerings," she shot.

"We had plans and I was worried when you didn't answer the door or your phone," he offered sitting up. "It was dead by the way, should be fully charged by now. He's been fed, changed and bathed," Jack said as the Doctor gurgled in agreement.

She curled up in the chair, "I was up half the night," she sighed sipping the steaming coffee.

"Did you keep your mom up," Jack asked rolling the Doctor over and beginning to tickle him.

Donna watched as the Doctor flailed helplessly giggling, "no, I kept myself up. Thinking," she commented.

He picked the Doctor up placing him between the two of them, "were you thinking about how cute my big brown eyes are," mocked Jack in a fake baby voice.

"I wish, more like everything that needs to be done," she shoo trying to put the thoughts off.

Jack stood walking over to her and sitting on the couch, "let me help," he suggested.

"You have enough to deal with running Torchwood," Donna scoffed watching the Doctor suck on Jack's finger as drool ran down it.

"You can't do this alone," he reminded her. Turing to look at the Doctor, Jack held him up in the air, "today you two are under my charge," Jack ordered. "Let's get your mummy in the Christmas spirit," he beamed. Jack's face scrunched as he took a long sniff, "well let's change your diaper first." The two of them got up to leave the room but Jack turned to her before disappearing from view, "go, get ready, we can get something to eat out," he told her.

Getting dressed Donna didn't want to do this. She didn't want to go out with Jack and she certainly didn't want to be in the Christmas spirit. Donna threw on an emerald top and jeans tossing her hair up and refusing to wear makeup. Noticing the pain in her breasts she turned her bedroom heat up to prevent the heat from getting to them and pulled on a sweater.

Seeing Jack dressing the Doctor she couldn't help but laugh, "are you seriously dressing him in a button down and jeans," she laughed.

"He's a baby, he has no choice in the matter," Jack winked fighting to get socks on the tiny feet. Rolling her eyes she went to grab the nappy bag, "it's already packed," he said.

Donna worried her lip, "how are you so on top of things when I feel like I'm struggling to keep up," she sighed.

"I've been a dad. And I may have extra resources at my disposal," he smiled picking the Doctor up. "Are you ready," he asked grabbing the car seat which surprised Donna the most.

She watched him carefully, "where are we going," Donna demanded.

"You'll find out, come on," he coaxed handing her the infant Doctor and taking the diaper bag, car seat, sling and stroller.

Once settled in the car Jack turned to her, "just relax today and have fun," he begged.

As much as Donna wanted to say no something in her was ready to not be the one in charge, "okay," she promised.

Arriving at the mall Donna wanted to break her promise. There were too many people, and it was so full of the holidays she wanted to puke. Christmas trees were everywhere and even if she still needed more presents she detested this entire holiday this year. Donna went to grab the sling when she realized it wasn't the one they usually used, "this is the wrong one," she complained.

"I thought he might like to use that one and see all the lights and people," Jack suggested.

Donna shook her head, "he doesn't like this one. Now he's just going to cry the entire time," she chided.

"If he does I'll handle it," Jack assured her beginning to strap the carrier on.

"What are you doing," Donna asked confused.

Jack paused mid snap, "harnessing this thing so I can carry him," he answered as if it was plain as day.

"I don't think so," she informed him taking it off and beginning to put it on herself, "I will be carrying him," she corrected, "you're too much like the Doctor. If something bad happens you'll have to run off and you won't be taking him with you," she informed Jack. Realizing he wasn't going to win he let her go, and helped Donna get the Doctor situated smiling when his hand brushed against her breast, "oi, careful with the goods they aren't in the mood to be manhandled," she growled enough to cause even Jack to blush.

Walking in the mall Jack's smile reached both his ears seeing the fake man dressed as Santa, "oh we have got to get a picture," he laughed.

"The Doctor would have both our necks," Donna warned as Jack reached his arms out.

Oblivious to what was about to happen to him the Doctor was babbling as he took in the various colors and people around him, "better the reason. Black mail," Jack said. The Doctor didn't even stand a chance reaching out to Jack so trusting as they went to stand in line.

"If he ever asks I did everything I could," she began to state.

Bouncing the happy Doctor Jack allowed him to pull on his nose and ears as he blew raspberries at his stomach, "he certainly won't remember this if he isn't protesting," assured Jack.

"He does like you," she smiled watching the two of them.

"Let me come to your mom's for Christmas," Jack blurted.

Donna couldn't believe her ears, "no, why would you even want to?"

"It might make it easier," he paused, "a second pair of hands ad all," Jack suggested.

She watched the happy families in line before them, "what it would make is my mum lose her mind," Donna explained.

"I could be the nanny," he supplied.

Shaking her head Donna bent down so the Doctor could reach her mouth that he was trying to put his hand in. She pressed a kiss to it, "you don't want to your mean old gran to lose her mind do you," she laughed as the Doctor began to cry, "oh God, you really must understand what we're saying huh. You really don't wanna go to Sylvia's any more than I do," she sighed. "Good think Gramps will be there. We'll sneak out and go watch the stars with him. How do you like that," she suggested pressing another kiss to his hand as his from turned back into a smile.

"We're next," Jack warned.

She looked up at the family on the podium, "there is no us buddy. I'm not getting in a photo with him and Santa. It's bad enough I'm letting you get one of him," she said thinking of how adorable he looked in his sweater and button down.

As the lady motioned for them to come up Jack handed the girl dressed as an elf the infant Doctor, he smiled as they took his picture and Jack paid for multiple copies as well as a digital file, "he is so going to kill you," Donna laughed looking at the finished product as the wandered along the mall.

"Do you have any decorations for the tree? Stockings? Lights," Jack inquired.

Donna took a deep breath, "I'm really not in the mood for Christmas," she confessed.

"That's why you need this," he urged, "come on," he said taking her hand.

Within the next hour Jack had bought all the required necessities for Christmas and decorating a tree, except for the tree of course. He even got Donna to relax enough to give up the Doctor to him as she picked up more gifts. Pausing in the window, she saw the most beautiful telescope, "he's too young for that," Jack reminded her catching her staring at it.

"It isn't for him. My Gramps would love it," she sighed. Jack smiled walking in the store, "what are you doing? I can't afford that," Donna protested.

Jack walked up and grabbed the telescope taking it directly to the counter, "I can. How else will your grandpa show the Doctor the stars," he suggested. Seeing a jewelry store across the way Jack pointed it out, "go pick out something for your mom. It's on me," he told her.

"I can't, it isn't," she stammered.

"Go," Jack urged.

Donna was just browsing she told herself but when she saw the beautiful emerald earring and necklace set she knew she had to get it for her Mum. Sylvia had always loved emeralds. Buying the set Donna went to meet Jack again but he wasn't in the store. Fear coursed through her as she looked around trying to find them. Donna had just reached a security guard to report them missing when Jack came up to them, "where did you go," she panted ripping the Doctor from him and holding him close, "how could you just take him like that," she cried.

"He needed his diaper changed. All taken care of Jack winked. Are you ready to go home and decorate? I have a tree waiting for you that deserves a proper lighting," he beamed.

Taking a deep breath she nodded, "I think we've had enough fun for today huh love," she asked kissing the Doctor's cheek.


	6. Chapter 6

Her buzzing alarm ran too early in the morning but Donna knew she couldn't hit snooze this time. She had to get up and start packing if they were going to make it to her mum's in time for dinner. Donna checked on the Doctor fast asleep in the bassinette before hopping in the shower and getting dressed. She wanted to look nice but not too nice. Laying out everything she would need, she packed the Doctor's bag with more things than he could possibly use in the next sixteen hours. Donna peeked at him, still asleep and went over with his outfit for the day. Removing him from the bassinette he nuzzled into her, "its okay love, you can sleep longer," she comforted unhooking his sleeper and changing his nappy before getting him dressed.

The cool morning air prevented the Doctor from falling back asleep however as he began to cry becoming aware of his nakedness, "I don't like this any more than you," she noted feeling her breasts ache. Donna looked at the time, bloody hell she wasn't even going to have time to stop by a chemist for some midol before the train either. "Come on," she said sliding his pants over his squirming legs, "we have to hurry," Donna chided picking him up. She pressed a kiss to his cheek, "you rather are cute," Donna beamed as the Doctor smiled at her.

A knock on her door brought Donna back to reality, "that'll be Jack, we've got to go," she said as much to herself as him. Grabbing the bags, Donna tossed them over her shoulder, turning the bedroom light off as she left the bedroom. Before she could make it to the living room Donna could hear the click of the lock, "what have I told you about privacy," Donna instructed, seeing his face.

"For all I know you could have slept through the alarm," Jack offered. "Here let me take those," he said removing the bags from weighing her down.

"Thanks," Donna said looking around. She walked over unplugging the tree that Jack had set up and currently had the Doctor's attention captured. As the lights turned off the Doctor blinked as if it was magic clapping his hands pleased.

Jack laughed witnessing this, "well someone's easily pleased," he smiled.

Donna's phone alarm beeped, "we have to go," she urged hurrying out of the house and locking the door.

Helping them to the train Jack off loaded all of their bags and the Doctors car seat, "are you sure you don't want me to come," he questioned.

"No, go to Ianto's. We'll be fine," she assured him as the boarded, "and Jack merry Christmas," Donna wished, turning to find a seat for her and the Doctor.

As he began to whine Donna prepared a bottle watching the English landscape pass by, "shh," she calmed taking him from the car seat and propping the bottle for him. Donna rocked him once he was finished until he fell asleep, setting him back in the seat so she could get a quick nap herself.

Arriving in Chiswick Donna definitely had mixed feelings about being home. Obviously the Doctor did too, sniffing as he woke up peering out of his car seat. Donna looked around for a familiar face, seeing it she ran over to the old man, "Gramps," she cheered hugging him tightly amidst a ton of baggage trying to fall down, "where's mum," she asked looking around.

"She's at home working on dinner. I couldn't leave my favorite granddaughter to take a cab home now could I," Wilfed beamed.

"I'm you're only granddaughter," she reminded him.

Wilf laughed pulling her in for another hug before letting her go, "so who is this little fella," he questioned.

Donna set her bags down retrieving the Doctor from his car seat, "you two have actually met before," she cautiously said. "This is the Doctor," Donna explained.

She wasn't sure if he hadn't heard her or was stunned into silence, "the alien," he whispered, "what happened?"

"I wish I knew," Donna sighed, "it's a long story and I don't want him to catch a chill. How about a cuppa," Donna suggested shifting the infant in her arms.

Helping her with her bags they piled them into the car so that the three of them could catch up. Ordering a coffee and muffin Donna watched as the Doctor played with his robot flopping it around the highchair that had been provided for them, "that's really the Doctor," he whispered.

"Yeah. I woke up on the TARDIS with him like this. I don't remember anything and he can't help," she paused, "yet," Donna added.

His phone rang startling them both, "we're on our way," he assured whom Donna could only figure to be Sylvia. Closing the phone he pulled money out of his bill fold, "we better be on our way. You know how your mum is," he chuckled.

The Doctor reached up to him as Wilfred stood, "I think he likes you," Donna giggled.

Wilfred ruffled his hair, "do you want drive," he asked picking up the infant Doctor. The Doctor patted Wilf's cheek babbling and smiling at him while trying to pull at his whiskers.

"He must really like me," Wilf chuckled as the Doctor put his hand in his mouth.

Donna watched the two of them, "enjoy it while you can. He's the closest you'll ever have to a great grandchild.

"There's still time," he said, "don't give up," Wilfred encouraged.

Donna buckled the Doctor, ensuring he had his robot while in shaking her head, "I'm too old now," she disagreed yawning as she pressed a kiss to the Doctor's head and sat in the driver's seat.

"You're never too old. You never know what lies ahead," he suggested.

Putting the car into drive Donna couldn't help but agree with him, "well if you would've told me I'd be raising a child that is really a alien I wouldn't believed you," she scoffed.

Driving down the familiar street Donna parked in their driveway, "are you okay," he asked noticing her tense.

"I'll be fine," she promised exhaling sharply and glancing in the back at the Doctor who was wide awake and looking around, "we both will be huh love," Donna noted.

Getting out of the car she grabbed the Doctor and their luggage. They hadn't even reached the door when Sylvia swung it open, "dear Lord did you get a breast job," Sylvia spat seeing her daughter's cleavage.

"No, what are you talking about," she asked looking down and seeing the top button had popped off somewhere on the train. "He must have yanked at it," she suggested holding up the Doctor to cover them.

Sylvia reached her arms out, "come to gram," she coaxed at the Doctor. Looking up at Donna his lip trembled as he clutched onto her desperately.

"He's a little shy," Donna lied trying to hold back her laughter.

"Do you guy want to do presents before dinner," she suggested, "I'd like to catch the train before it's too late."

Sylvia's mouth gaped open, "you're not staying the night," she pushed.

"I told you I have work tomorrow. Besides it's our first Christmas," she reminded her mum.

Obviously miffed Sylvia must have made the decision to forgo insulting her daughter to see her the newest child in the family, "hello," she smiled walking over to the Doctor and holding her hands out to him. "I'm your grandmum," Sylvia introduced herself. Donna had to quickly stifle her laughter as the Doctor started crying and shoved his face in her chest trying to get away from Sylvia, "what's wrong with him," she pushed.

"He's very shy," Donna lied catching her Gramp's smile at this declaration. Sylvia walked over to him, placing her hand on the Doctor's back and he visibly cringed, "let him warm up to you," Wilf suggested to his daughter.

Frowning she turned towards the kitchen, "I have to check the ham," Sylvia said trying not to show the hurt she felt but Donna was able to catch on.

Turning to him Donna gazed into his eyes, "would it hurt you to pretend? I won't let her change your nappy," she whispered kissing his tiny forehead.

Seeing this exchange Wilfred laughed, "he knows what's good for him. The women in this family are temperamental," he sighed.

Donna spent most the day dragging the Doctor around the house as they talked and ate dinner. His eyes were always on Donna or tracking Sylvia, weary she would get too close. He even refused to take any naps despite Donna's attempts. When it was time to open presents Donna pretended to love the book her mum bought her and actually did enjoy the pair of ear rings Wilfred gave her. Donna was pleasantly surprised to see her mum's excited squeal seeing the jewelry set and her Gramp's reaction to the telescope. Especially since he light up like a little kid opening it and eagerly began to set out to see the stars.

Seeing Wilf get ready to leave the Doctor reached out to him crying as if he knew he was about to miss out on all the fun. Rolling her eyes Donna stood up, "alright," she soothed. "Let me find your jacket and we can go too," Donna declared making her Gramps chuckle.

Bundling the Doctor then herself up Donna wrapped a big blanket around the two of them, "I have one we can sit on and cocoa," Wilfred said holding up the thermos and offering his granddaughter a week.

"Don't mind me I'll just be cleaning up from the dinner that I slaved away making," Sylvia mentioned to the two of them.

Peeking back Donna sighed heavily, "I'll help when we get back mum," she promised leaving for the allotment.

Laying under the stars, Donna watched how the Doctor stared up at them babbling and blowing bubbles in excitement as she and Wilfred pointed out the bare eye visible ones. She wasn't sure if he could actually see them or not but she liked to think so. "He sure does like them," Wilf commented.

"Yeah, you should see the bedroom he has," she began, "not that he ever sleeps in it. Do you," Donna added tickling the Doctor's nose and making him giggle in delight.

Setting up his telescope Wilf looked through it, "how are you doing," he questioned.

"I'm fine. I'm always fine," she smiled as Wilfred met her eyes.

He sat down next to her, "I know. I worry about you though," he confessed.

"You don't need to Gramps," Donna protested trying to ease his fears, "I'm taken care of. Even now, he still has my back," she smiled looking down at the Doctor who was staring at her.


	7. Chapter 7

Still lying under the stars the Doctor began to whimper. Donna watched his little lips quiver as tears began to form and he scream at the top of his lungs, "its okay love. Shhh," she said offering him her finger.

But he continued to cry rather than suck on it, "maybe you should get him in side he might finally be ready for that nap," Wilfred suggested, "long day around your mum and all," he chuckled.

"Yeah," Donna agreed as he began to wail even louder, "we're going," she encouraged. God her breasts hurt but she had to focus on the Doctor not her bloody self. She needed to calm him down, then she could grab something from the medicine cabinet later.

Donna pulled him to her standing up and began dancing with him as she walked down to the house singing, "when you try your best, but you don't succeed. When you get what you want but not what you need. When you feel so tired but you can't sleep. Stuck in reverse," she paused kissing his cheek before continuing. "And the tears come streaming down your face. When you lose something you can't replace," but instead of calming like the Doctor typically did to Donna's singing of Coldplay he howled.

"You're doing it wrong," Sylvia instructed as they walked in the house.

She turned away from her mum, "I know what I'm doing," Donna insisted. "When you love someone but it goes to waste. Could it be worse? Lights will guide you home and ignite your bones and I will try to fix you," she sang desperately dancing with him praying for him to calm.

"Does he need a bath," her mum suggested.

"No," she spat as the Doctor's breathing became choked through his screams, "you're okay, you're safe, nothing is wrong," Donna promised him.

Sylvia's mouth opened in shocked, "Donna you're leaking," she gasped.

"I'm what," Donna asked looking down at her shirt which now no longer had just the trouble of containing her bulging breasts but also had two separate wet patches developing. "What the fuck," she panted confused.

"Is he yours? Your and that Doctor you ran off with? He left you so you thought you could lie? He looks just like him, brown hair and eyes. I don't know why I didn't see it earlier," Sylvia yelped berating her daughter. "You have a love child and you can't even tell the truth," she continued.

Donna started crying unable to contain her own emotions, "he isn't mine," she protested.

The front door knocked as Wilf came in having hear the commotion, "what's going on," he questioned.

"Ask her," Sylvia glared.

Donna couldn't handle this she ran up to her room with the Doctor who was continuing to cry, "I don't know what you need. God, why can't you tell me? Please" she begged. The Doctor's little fist jerked as their eyes connected and he opened his hand grasping at her face. She held her breath waiting for the connection to be established like on the planet of the Ood but the Doctor just cried more. No telepathic message was delivered like she desperately had been hoping for. Nearly done with this whole evening Donna pulled her phone out calling Martha.

"Hello," she answered on the third ring.

Biting her lip Donna took a deep breath, "I know it's Christmas but I'm in London and something is going on. I didn't know who to call," Donna wept, the Doctor still screaming in the background.

"Is it the Doctor," Martha worried.

"Yes, he won't stop crying but Martha there is stuff coming out of my breasts," she sobbed.

Martha didn't even hesitate, "are you at your mum's," she questioned.

"Yeah," Donna's voice broke.

"I'm on my way," Martha promised hanging up.

There was a knock on her door, "can I help with anything," Wilfred asked peeking in.

"Um, can you hold him? I have to get our things together. Martha is coming to pick us up," she cried.

He came closer taking the screaming Doctor trying to calm him without success as Donna collapsed on her bed, "you know how your mum is," he started.

"Don't. My breasts hurt, I'm apparently leaking Good knows what, the Doctor won't stop screaming and there is nothing I can do but wait for my best friend to come back," she blurted. "Which we don't even know when or if it will happen," Donna sobbed in unison with the screaming baby.

She stood going down stair as Wilf followed her, gathering the Doctor's items up and throwing them in the nappy sack, "you don't have to leave," he offered.

"I know I'm not welcome here. You are welcome to call or come any time. I can pay for it. It's not an issue," she promised pressing a kiss to his cheek and hugging him, "I know we'd both love it if you would," Donna said throwing the sling on and wrapping the Doctor trying to see if he would calm with his robot.

"At least wait inside," Wilfred tried.

Donna hugged the Doctor close to her aching breasts, "Martha will be here soon," she told them both rocking the Doctor, "besides I have to get the car seat out," she sighed making the robot dance for the Doctor with no success.

"I'll help," he insisted throwing his coat quickly on and following her out the door. Wilf struggled to pull the seat out of the tiny car as Donna was helpless to assist him.

She tried rubbing the Doctor's back, blowing raspberries, even offered him a bottle but nothing worked. "Shhhh," she whispered in his ear holding him close. Donna was holding the Doctor tightly praying for some magnificent idea to cross her mind when Martha pulled up.

"What's wrong," she asked getting out of the car.

Trying to hold back her own tears Donna shook her head, "I don't know. He won't stop crying. He was fine and the this," she said looking down at the screaming child in her arms. In all the moments they'd have thus far this was the hardest to remember that the person in her arms was the Doctor. Right now he was a screaming child and she was just a helpless mum.

Martha reached out to take him, "let me try," but the Doctor only howled louder clutching onto Donna refusing to let go.

"I don't know what to do," she sniffed.

Wilfred wrapped an arm around his granddaughter, "you do, just clear your mind. I'm sure you know what he needs love," he encouraged.

Biting her cheek she felt so overwhelmed, "I don't," she insisted pulling him from her chest. "Take him," Donna said pushing him at Martha, "something has to be wrong. I don't know what to do. I'm not what he needs," she sobbed.

Taking the screaming Doctor from Donna Martha placed her hand on his forehead, "his temperature is fine. Let's take him to UNIT and check him over," she suggested.

"No, we can't go to UNIT. Martha if they knew," Donna protested.

"It's a two hour drive to Cardiff," she said looking at her watch, "I could drive you two and check you at Torchwood," Martha noted.

Mulling over her choices Donna felt horrible, "it's Christmas, you need to be with your family and I already called you away. Just take us to the train station," she advised, "I don't know why I called, I'm sorry."

"I'm already away," Martha mentioned, "plus, I should check you out not just him." Donna bit her lip, unsure what to do, "I can call Jack and see what he thinks," she continued trying to convince Donna to accept her help.

Nodding Donna finally agreed, "and what about him," she said pointing to the still crying Doctor who was reaching out for her despite Martha's attempts to calm him.

"I have a secret weapon," Martha smiled. "Here," she said handing him back to Donna. He stilled in her arms, still continuing to cry as the howling quietened. Before Donna could ask what it was, Martha pulled out w tiny bottle with a dripper from her pocket, "nicked this off my brother," she said holding it up.

Trying to figure out what it was, Donna realized as she held it closer, "you're going to drug him," she gasped.

"Not drug, medicate. I am a doctor," she reminded.

Before Donna could say anything Wilfred's chuckle broke in, "every parent does it from time to time. He's probably teething," he realized.

"Teething? Oh God, I didn't even think of that," Donna scoffed, "I'm a horrible mum," she sobbed pressing kisses to the Doctor's face, "I'm so sorry I didn't think of that," she apologized.

Martha loomed closer with the bottle as the Doctor tried to hide his face from it, "it will help," she offered.

Donna turned the Doctor in her arms not giving him any other option but to take the medication. Refusing to open his mouth, Martha plugged his nose briefly forcing him to open his mouth long enough she could slip the drops in, "there that'll make it better," Donna soothed as the Doctor coughed still continuing to cry.

She continued to rock him gently as he fought his eyes fought to stay open, "like a typical baby, he just doesn't know what's good for him," Martha laughed.

"Are you better now," Wilfred asked noticing that Donna had begun to calm too.

"Yeah," she agreed, "I'm sorry, I've ruined everyone's holiday," she apologized.

Hugging his granddaughter Wilfred shook his head, "no, I had a pleasant time. It was nice to have a baby around, even if he is an alien," the old man chuckled.

"Really, it isn't a bother," insisted Martha.

Donna smiled at their niceness, "than you guys," she sighed. "Can you take him," Donna asked noticing the Doctor was now fully asleep. "I'll get the seat in the car and we can get going," she hinted.

Taking the sleeping Doctor from Donna, Martha gazed at him affectionately, "he is cuter when he sleeps," she laughed.

"Just like his adult self," Donna cracked struggling with the seat as Wilf tried to help her.

Once successfully getting it in Donna hugged her gramps, "thanks for everything. I meant what I said, come and visit, anytime," she assured him watching as Martha got the Doctor situated in the car seat.

"All ready," she interrupted.

Wrapping her arms around him she kissed her granddad, "I mean it," she said meeting his eyes, "you can bring Netty too," Donna told him making the old man smile.

"I'll keep you to that one," Wilf chuckled pausing, "I better get back in," he motioned to the house. "You take care and if you need anything, even just an ear, you call me you hear," Wilfred made sure his granddaughter knew he meant business.

"I will," Donna agreed climbing in beside the Doctor and closing the door.


	8. Chapter 8

Donna woke as they pulled into Cardiff, "I'm sorry," she apologized.

"Don't be," Martha shushed her, "you had a rough day. He's slept the whole way and I was fine driving," she assured Donna.

Looking at the sleeping Doctor warm in his coverers she couldn't help but smile, "he didn't nap all day. Little guy is completely tuckered out," Donna explained.

"It looked like you were too," laughed Martha, "you might want to wipe the drool from your lip," she mentioned.

She self consciously wiped at her mouth, "thank you," she said, "for everything," Donna continued.

"It's nothing really. Christmas is," she trailed off, "I used to know what to expect, the bickering from my parents but now things are different. Seeing them back together is odd. It used to be all I wanted but now I feel like they didn't have a choice," she sighed shaking her head. Donna was about to say something when Martha changed the subject, "Jack should be there already," she said.

She scrunched her face, "you called him," Donna worried.

"Yeah," she responded, "no need to worry. You didn't pull him away from anything, he was already at work."

Pulling her pony tail out Donna pulled the straggling hair back up wrapping it once again with the band, "I told him to go with Ianto," she scoffed.

"There was something going on with the rift," supplied Martha.

As they pulled up beside Torchwood's base Donna undid her seatbelt, unstrapping the car seat and grabbing it along with the nappy bag. The Doctor jerked because of the movement but his little hand came up to his mouth and he began sucking on it, "always with things in his mouth this one. God forbid if he becomes a toddler," Donna laughed trying not to think too much about it.

Martha walked in seeing Jack relaxed leaning back with his feet on the desk, "I thought you were working," she joked.

Sitting up quickly he scrubbed his face with his hand, "I was. It's quiet now. Thankfully."

"Since he's sleeping why don't I check over you," suggested Martha.

Donna placed the Doctor at the desk where Jack was sitting, "care to watch him," she smiled.

He smiled looking at the sleeping Doctor as Donna placed the nappy sack beside him, "I think I can manage," Jack gave her a wink scooting closer, "should I wake him?"

"No," Donna quickly answered, "please don't he didn't sleep all day," she begged.

Jack held his hands up, "your wish is my command," he winked.

Rolling her eyes Donna followed Martha into the exam room making sure to close the door behind her. "You said you were leaking," she inquired putting on gloves.

"My boobs. They've been hurting and he was crying and stuff started to come out of them Martha," Donna explained.

Martha motioned to her shirt, "can I have a look," she inquired. Unbuttoning her shirt Donna removed her bra exposing herself to Martha, "anything unusual," she asked.

"You mean other than them spurting stuff when he cries," she scoffed.

Looking up Martha met her eyes, "well at least it doesn't glow," she offered.

"Ow," Donna gasped as Martha gently squeezed her breast causing a yellow liquid to come out.

Grabbing a cup Martha squirted some more into the container, "I'm going to test this. It looks like it's just colostrum."

"Colostrum," Donna interrupted, "what's that?"

Setting the cup down and labeling it Martha offered her a smile, "think of it as a special super milk full of protein and antibodies that when a baby needs when first born," she explained.

"I'm making milk. But I'm not pregnant," Donna gasped pulling her shirt closed.

Clearing her throat it was obvious Martha was uncomfortable, "it is possible," she began, "if you were stimulated," she hinted.

"Stimulated? The Doctor has not put his mouth on my breast," she yelped.

"Hormones," Martha offered quickly. "It's obvious you are attached to him. It's not unheard of for an adoptive mum that develops an attachment to their child to begin to produce milk," she offered.

Donna began to button her top up, "you've got to be bloody kidding me," she sighed, "what's next I'm going to grow a second heart?"

Desperately trying not to laugh Martha offered her some gauze pads, "I think you're safe from that," she said putting her at ease. "Use these to soak up the wetness, you want to keep your nipples dry," Martha explained.

"Well isn't this just wizard," scoffed Donna. "Um, is there anything I can do for the pain? These suckers hurt," she complained.

Leaning against the counter Martha licked her lips refusing to meet her eyes, "you could excrete. It will relieve the pressure."

"Excrete," Donna pushed confused.

"You could breastfeed. I can prescribe you medication to help dry you out but it will take a few days and the pain will get worse before they get better or you can try to breastfeed," she explained the choices before Donna.

She shook her head, "there is no way in hell I am letting the Doctor put his mouth on my breast, baby or not," she declared.

"I'll write you a prescription," Martha said pulling out a notepad and scribbling on it, "take this and it will dry you up but it's going to hurt," she warned.

Begrudgingly Donna grabbed the script from her hands, "thanks," she paused, "I'm sorry. I didn't, I just," Donna was unsure what to say.

"I understand. No worries," she assured her. "Let's go see if the Doctor is awake so I can look him over," she suggested.

Jack was sitting at the table staring at the sleeping Doctor, "why does he need to be looked at," he worried.

"He got really upset. My Gramps thinks he's just teething. Poor little guy just had a fit all day, wouldn't nap, wouldn't stop crying," she explained.

Glancing at the clock Jack looked back at the Doctor, "It's too early for him to be teething," he said dismissing their idea, "when exactly did he calm?"

"Before we left to come here, so a few hours ago why," Donna questioned confused as to his line of questioning.

"There was a lot of unusual rift activity tonight. The rift opened and there were anomalies all up and down it," he told them, "do you think it's possible for the Doctor to be keenly aware of circumstances like that," Jack questioned.

Donna thought it over, "he is always going on about his highly perceptive time lord powers, I guess it's possible even as a baby to be aware of the abnormalities occurring," she supposed.

"Well then I'm going to get going back to London," Martha mentioned beginning to yawn, "I have work tomorrow," she sighed.

Her yawn was contagious, infecting Donna then Jack, "yea I probably should get home too," she said giving Martha a hug, "get home safe," she wished.

"I'll walk you two home," Jack mentioned standing and grabbing the Doctor, "are you ready?"

"Yeah," Donna said pulling on her coat.

The two of them walked Martha to her car wishing her well before getting Donna I the house. Jack placed the still sleeping Doctor in his crib as Donna changed into a pair of pajamas. She came out to find Jack sitting there on her couch offering her a Tylenol and cup of tea, "thanks," she said curling up on the couch corner beside him. He had _Love Actually_ on the telly making her giggle.

Jack looked over assaulted, "what," he questioned.

"I didn't think you would fall into this crowd," she laughed.

He shot her a glare before offering her a wink, "there is a lot you don't know about me," Jack laughed pulling her into a half hug as she relaxed against him.

"Thank you for being here for the Doctor and for me," she said.

Wrapping his arm around her he smiled, "does it feel like Christmas is all around you," he laughed.

Donna rolled her eyes, "it feels like a right lot of shit honestly," she sighed shifting beside him.

Hearing the Doctor cry from his bedroom Donna sat the cup down, "I got him," Jack offered.

She patted his knee, "no it's fine," she chuckled getting up. Walking into the bedroom Donna saw him lying there tears springing from his eyes, "hungry there mister," she asked picking him up. "Let's get you a bottle," Donna suggested rocking him gently as they walked to the kitchen. She tried to ignore the throbbing of her breasts as the released more of that colostrum stuff.

The Doctor must have smelled the milk and began rooting for her nipple, "oh no you don't," she shot moving him from her chest as he began to cry causing her to leak even more. Her breasts pulsed with pain, "bloody hell can you take him," she said holding him out for jack as tears raked her eyes.

"Are you okay," he worried hurrying to take the Doctor.

Donna shook her head, "I just need to get him a bottle," she assured him.

Mixing the water and formula Donna handed it to Jack so she could shove some napkins down her shirt to dry her nipples. The roughness hurt almost more than the leaking, "he doesn't want it," Jack told her as the Doctor screamed louder pushing away the bottle.

"Well it's all he's getting. Here let me try," she offered taking him and the bottle trying to get him to feed. It became apparent rather quickly that he wasn't going to as the Doctor kept turning toward her breast rather than the bottle. "For fuck's sake," she growled her own tears escaping and mingling with his.

Jack came up beside her, "what can I do," he asked.

"Nothing. My tits bloody hurt and I'm leaking and now I'm crying because I'm not his bloody mum but my body wants to feed him," she blurted, "I'm losing my mind," Donna sobbed.

He took the Doctor again trying to feed him, "what can I do," he asked trying to give him the bottle.

"I need you to find me a breast pump," she cried.

Pausing as if he was confused Jack met her eyes, "no store is open at this time," he reminded her.

"Then you need to break into one and don't think I don't know you know how to," she warned meeting him dead in the eyes.

The pulsing pain was getting worse as her breasts throbbed in chorus with the Doctor's wails, "maybe he just wants to help you," Jack suggested.

"By putting his mouth on my breast. NO," she screamed over the Doctor's cries. "I'm not his mum," she objected.

The small hand of the Doctor reached up yanking on her shirt, "when was the last time he ate," Jack asked.

"This morning before," Fuck how did she forget that? He hadn't eaten all bloody day. He was fussy but he hadn't eaten.

Jack took him, "let me try again," he offered.

After a half hour of crying and trying everything to get the Doctor to take the bottle Donna was done, "give him here," she ordered.

Doing as she requested Jack handed him off to her again, "I swear to God if you ever bring this up," she sobbed rocking the Doctor. Donna took a deep breath looking up at Jack, "okay, how do I do this," she asked giving into the only option before her.

"You're asking me how to breastfeed," he questioned.

Donna glared at him, "you said you've done this before. Surely you saw your wife," she pushed.

"Hold that thought," Jack said leaving the room as the Doctor tried to root on her.

Rocking him she put her finger in his mouth which he spat out, "I'm trying. I don't want this. I don't know why in the hell you do. This isn't fair you know. You're a right little shit. I swear to God," Donna rambled trying to wait for Jack to come back.

Moments later he returned with her laptop, "okay, take off your shirt," Jack instructed.

"Are you serious," she yelped.

Jack held the computer up for her to see, "it says to," he offered innocently, "how else will he feed?"

Pulling her shirt off with one hand Donna exposed her breast, "I swear to God if you look," she warned removing her bra. Donna took a deep breath, "what next," she asked.

"It says to lace your nipple between his upper lip and nose, encouraging him to open his mouth by brushing his upper lip with your nipple," he read. "Then when he looks for the breast you bring his mouth to it," Jack continued.

She did as was told trying to do exactly as Jack said but by the time she got her breast over to his mouth he had closed it, "it's not working," she sighed.

"Maybe you should try another position," Jack suggested, "my wife used to breastfeed laying down," he told her.

Shifting Donna laid on the couch bring the Doctor up to her breast and trying again. As he latched on her whole breast screamed in pain, "for fucks sake," she ranted, "this hurts."

"If it hurts you aren't doing it right," Jack said. "You need to break his latch, it says you shouldn't feel pain," he read looking up and seeing Donna laying there trying to feed the Doctor.

Noticing where his eyes were she glared, "I said no peeking," she yelled.

"I wasn't I was looking at him not you," Jack tried to explain as he walked over to her, "you put your finger in his mouth to break him away," he told her. "It says to make sure he gets more of the bottom of your breast than top," Jack continued to read.

She couldn't believe his audacity, "you're enjoying this aren't you," she accused.

"No, you wanted help, I'm helping," Jack tried but her tears just intensified along with the Doctors.

"I need some space," she said getting up and taking the Doctor to her bedroom. Lying down she pulled him to her, "okay, we're going to try this one more time," she warned. He stopped crying meeting her eyes, "I fucking hate you for this I hope you know," she growled brushing her nipple across his lip and pulling him to her as he took her breast in his mouth. She held her breath waiting for the anticipated pain but it didn't come, in fact his crying had stopped and instead she heard a tiny gulping sound. Donna looked down at the Doctor suckling and she hated him. She hated him because she loved him so much. She loved this little baby more than words could ever describe.

Donna's tears strengthened as she sobbed watching him. There was a knock at her door, "are you okay," Jack asked pushing the door open a crack.

"No," she cried.

Jack came inside the rest of the way, "what's wrong," he asked looking at the tears streaming down her face.

"I love him. I bloody love him more than I could ever begin to explain. And he isn't mine. He isn't a baby, he's the Doctor. He's going to break my heart and there's nothing I can do," she sobbed.


	9. Chapter 9

"A fully grown female animal of domestication breed of ox used as a source of milk or beef," that is how the Doctor once described a cow to Donna. That is exactly what the last six weeks had made her feel like. Well, maybe not the beef part. Every time she turned around she was feeding the Doctor. She never intended to but before she knew it there was no turning back. They had tried the bottle so many times but each time he refused and only wanted her. All Donna did was change diapers, feed the Doctor and lay in bed resting while he looked back at her alternating between turning the television on and off to give the Doctor something to look at.

New Year's had come and past with prodding from Jack to get out and do more but Donna was content relaxing on the couch holding the Doctor as she watched Big Ben light up with fireworks. In fact the only thing rapidly changing was the Doctor. For an almost three month old, his behaviors were that of a six month. He had begun to sit up, hold his head up and roll over all on his own. There were even signs that he could begin crawling soon as he pushed himself up and would babble as if trying to will his arms and legs to cooperate. Donna loved watching him, as he would grab ahold of something in such surprise curious as to how exactly his hand had captured something.

In fact, she had no motivation for more and thought it was completely normal that she hadn't left the house in God knows how long. That is until she was lying in bed one night and smelled something foul, "someone needs a nappy change," she sighed getting up but the Doctor was clean. Donna sniffed again trying to place the smell, maybe she had leaked or spit up from the Doctor had gotten on something. It was then that she realized the smell was emanating from her, that she hadn't showered for at least five nights really didn't care to.

Jack however wasn't as kind when he came over later that night. He had stopped by quite a few times providing Donna and the infant Doctor with all their needs such as a pump, fresh groceries and making meals. He even spent much of his time urging Donna to eat despite her protests of lacking hunger. But Donna simply couldn't bring herself to anything more than a few bites. Tonight he came not alone but with reinforcements. Donna heard murmuring outside her bedroom door and honestly could care less. Nothing really mattered much anymore. It wasn't until they all came in that she lifted her head to acknowledge them. "This is stopping," Jack informed her taking the Doctor from her, "hey little guy," he greeted.

Martha, Gwen and Ianto shuffled into the room behind him, "give him back," Donna demanded sitting up.

"When was the last time you ate a full meal or showered," Jack questioned.

Looking over at the table she saw the remnants of the grilled cheese Jack had provided her with last night, "yesterday," she snarled.

"You didn't eat very much," Martha remarked walking over to her side and sitting on the bed. "Why don't you take a shower and we'll all have dinner, together. It'd be nice to have some company yeah" she suggested.

Donna looked at them all, "listen. I appreciate what you're doing but I'm just not in the mood," she tried.

Reaching out Martha placed her hand over Donna's, "I think you're depressed," she began.

"Depressed," Donna shot. "I'm not depressed. I'm perfectly fine," she objected.

Meeting the eyes of the others Martha took a deep breath, "why don't you take him out there so we can talk."

"No, don't take him. Please don't take him from me. I'll eat, I'll shower, I'll stop crying, please just don't take him," she screamed breaking into tears and running after him.

Jack handed the baby Doctor to Gwen, placing his hands on Donna's shoulders and meeting her eyes, "we would never take him from you. We're here to help you. He's just going to be in the living room so you can do what needs to be done," he promised.

Donna crumpled in his arms, sliding to the ground, "I just I can't do this. I know I'm a bad mum, I know he deserves more, I know but I can't imagine life without him," she sobbed.

Wrapping his arms around her on the floor Jack tried to calm her as Martha came up kneeling beside them, "you've been through a lot. Your hormones and body are under a lot of stress. It's perfectly natural to undergo depression at a time like this," she offered placing a comforting hand on Donna's back.

"I just want to do this right, for him," she sobbed.

"I know you do," Martha offered motioning for Jack to leave, "why don't we get you in the shower," she urged.

Allowing herself to be guided into the bathroom Donna stripped her clothes crawling under the water. She didn't even care that it was colder than she usually preferred. Going through the motions, that's all she felt like she was doing. She washed her hair and body turning the water off and found herself met with a towel, "thanks," she mumbled taking the towel and drying herself.

"Do you need me to grab you something to wear," Martha inquired.

"I think I can handle that myself," Donna scoffed.

Offering her a warm smile, "I'll be in the living room," she said leaving her alone.

Donna wrapped the towel around herself before brushing her hair out and pulling it into a wet pony tail. She grabbed a pair of pants and top slipping them on caring less if they matched or not and crawled back into bed. The flannel sheet took her by surprise causing her to take a second look at her bed. They had changed the bloody sheets. Donna didn't even care as she grabbed a pillow, burying her face in it and beginning to weep. She didn't look up when the door opened or when she felt warm arms around her trying to calm her tears, "everything is going to be fine," Jack assured her.

Sniffing she turned to face him, "you don't know that. You can't say that. We don't even know what happened to the Doctor," she cried.

"We will," Jack assured her.

Burying her face in his chest Donna laid there not even caring that she was making his shirt wet, "I just want him back," she sobbed.

"I know, he will be back," promised Jack.

Hearing crying from outside Donna rolled over and wiped away her tears, "I guess it's time to play mummy again," she sighed.

"Have you tried the pump," Jack questioned, "it might be better to try and separate yourself.

"Separate myself? I'm too far gone for that. Either way, no matter what happens my life as I know it is over. If I could just remember what the fuck happened in the states," she growled smacking her head. "I don't understand why I can't," she huffed feeling her breasts becoming ready to burst.

Jack sat up, "states," he echoed at what she had just said.

"Yeah the state we were," she trailed off realizing what she had said. "Am I remembering," Donna gasped. "We were in a state. We were in America," she squealed excited rushing over to the computer and opening the laptop. "I have to find out what we know about the Doctor in the states," she rambled. But the Doctor's cries broke her concentration as they got louder, "fuck," she groaned getting up, "duty calls."

Taking the Doctor from Martha she began to retreat back into her room, "why don't you stay out here," Martha suggested.

"Or I could pull my breast out in private," Donna shot.

Handing her a flannel Jack made sure she had no reason to escape back to her dark cave, "we won't look," he said, "there is a spot on the couch."

Donna surveyed her options. They weren't going to let her out of this one. She plopped into the corner, draping the blanket over her and the Doctor as she pulled down her shirt. Donna carefully rocked him as he ate watching the others clean her apartment, "you don't need to do that," she objected.

"We want to," Martha smiled as Ianto made dinner, "this is what friends do," she offered. She sat beside Donna motioning for the others to leave, "I'm worried about you," Martha began, "we all are," she paused slipping a pill bottle from her pocket, "these can help with the blues you've been feeling. They're safe for the Doctor and you. I made sure. Donna I just."

"No," she objected, "I'm not depressed. I'm just tired. Anyone who's feeding a child once an hour would be," she explained.

Martha reached out placing her hand on Donna's knee, "it's more than that and we both know it. If you really can't see it then trust us," she begged.

"You want me to take these pills and what magically feel better," she pushed.

"They aren't magic," Martha corrected, "they will help balance your body. You've been through a lot, are going through a lot," she promised, "just think about it yeah? We don't want to see you like this," she said getting up. She stopped at the corner of the couch, "the Doctor wouldn't want to see you like this either," she reminded Donna leaving her be to feed the Doctor.

Looking down in her arms the Doctor was happily feeding, content to be held and receive nourishment. "If you could tell me what to do I would greatly appreciate it," she whispered but the Doctor just gurgled and gulped with his eyes closed. "Can you give me a sign? When are you going to turn back? You are going to turn back right," she pled.

"You could try the pump I bought you," Jack suggested. "It would help with the constant need."

"Or supplement with formula," Martha reasoned.

Donna looked at them both, "you don't understand what it's like. He needs me, what I have, for some bloody reason. It's my fault he's like this," she cried.

"Hey," Jack calmed coming over beside her, "how is it your fault," he demanded to know."

She sniffed rocking the still feeding Doctor, "I can't remember what happened to him. He trusted me to take care of him and I can't even remember," she shook. Sensing her unrest the Doctor opened his eyes letting go and began to cry. "Shhh," she rocked him, "it's alright," Donna promised, "nothing bad is going to happen to you love."

"I'm worried you're becoming too attached," Martha confessed.

She met her eyes, "how could I be too attached to the Doctor. You were in love with him," Donna spat.

"Now, now, let's not say things we'll regret later," he warned, "maybe you should start coming to torchwood. Get out of the house. You can bring the Doctor. No one want's to separate you two," assured Jack.

Swallowing hard Donna shrugged her shoulders, "I don't know if it's safe. So much can go wrong there," she thought aloud.

"But you could have free baby sitters and work as much as you wanted to discover what you're missing," he told her.

Worrying her lip she mulled over the idea but the thought of leaving her house was just too daunting, "I'll think about it," she said more to shut them up rather than as a decision.

"Donna, think about what the Doctor would want. He wouldn't want to see you like this," Jack began.

She scooted away from him, "don't pretend to know what the Doctor would and wouldn't want," Donna growled.

"You and I both know that he would hate to see you like this," he tried again.

Sinking into the couch Donna noticed everyone was staring at her, "I don't know anything anymore," she sighed.

Martha moved closer to them, "then know that we are all here to help you. It can't be easy taking care of him alone. Let us help," she suggested.

"You have to take care of yourself if you expect to take care of the Doctor," Jack explained.

They had her there. If she was going to be what the Doctor needed then she had to at least sort of take care of herself. At least enough to keep her head above water, "what do I do," Donna asked. "How long do I keep this up for," she trembled.

"We're here, whatever you need. A day off, a friend, anything," he promised wrapping his arms carefully around her and the Doctor.

She nodded into his embrace as the Doctor drooled down Jack's shirt, "right now I just need a friend," she whimpered.

"Shhh," Jack calmed her, "you already have that. In fact, you have many," he promised.

Hearing the Doctor babble, Donna took a deep breath sitting back up, "is it tummy time," she asked her voice softening as she met his bright brown eyes staring back at her. She pulled her shirt the rest of the way up to make sure she was covered before standing up. "Can you hand me that mat," she asked Martha who was standing next to a rolled up tube like thing.

"I've got it," Martha grinned laying it out on the floor as Donna placed the Doctor on the mat turning on the musical toys to capture his attention.

The Doctor smiled brightly, squealing in delight as his hand grabbed a hanging star above his face swinging it wildly as Donna watched him from the couch, "penny for them," questioned Jack.

Donna looked up hugging herself, "that's was my best friend," she sighed still watching the Doctor as he let go of the star and wriggled around.

"He still is," Jack reminded her.

"But he isn't. He's a baby. We don't even know that he knows who we are or what is going on around him," Donna declared pulling her knee up to her chest, "the not knowing is killing me," she confessed.

Jack swallowed hard, "then don't think about it. You remembered something today. Relax tonight and tomorrow come to Torchwood, let's see what we can do. It won't hurt to try," he proposed. "Do something instead of waiting around for it to happen," he added.

She couldn't help but smile resting her head on his shoulder, "you're too good to me," Donna complemented.

"You deserve it. Anyone willing to travel with him and take care of deserves a hell of a lot for the patience you have to exhibit. Both you and Martha. I don't know how you two did it. I could only handle him a few days at a time," he admitted.

Rolling her eyes she smacked his arm, "shove off," Donna scoffed. "Slick as a slug you are," Donna laughed noticing the Doctor push himself up on all fours. He tentatively picked one hand up allowing it to wiggle as he reached out placing it back on the ground as he was staring at a toy he obviously wanted. The Doctor reached out his other hand, moving it forward and dragged his legs behind him much as she had seen dogs do. "He's crawling! He's flipping crawling," Donna cheered standing up and rushing over to him. She kneeled beside the toy as the Doctor startled from her outburst of excitement. He moved his arm again inching toward her before collapsing on his belly and looking around confused about how he had arrived there. "Come on," Donna cheered holding the caterpillar that he had been so keen to get, "you want this," she urged smiled wide across her lips.

The Doctor pulled himself back up, using his knees to propel him forward as his arms held him up growling. "I don't think his arms are doing what he wants them to," Jack chuckled as the Doctor began to pout flopping back onto his stomach.

Jack stood leaning over to pick up the Doctor, "don't. If you do it for him he won't figure it out on his own. You know how important that nonsense is to him," Donna laughed.

She watched as he propped himself back up, his tiny brown eyes meeting hers and he began crawling again but instead of the toy he wanted her. Donna beamed tossing him in the air as she blew raspberries on his chest pressing kisses to his face, "you are so smart," she cooed. "I mean of course you are but," Donna paused, "oh hush," she said rolling her eyes knowing what the Doctor would be saying if he was there as he burst into giggles.

"Dinner's ready," Ianto called.

Reaching down Jack offered his hand to help her up but instead Donna handed the Doctor to him, "I just need a moment. I'll be right back," she explained as he took the Doctor and Donna got up leaving them.

Walking into her bathroom, Donna locked the door behind her filling up a glass with water and slipped the bottle of pills Martha had handed her from her pocket. Reading the instructions, Donna took one out staring at the white round powerdy surface, the simple numbers noting the milligrams and a random diamond shape that she had no idea what it meant. She stared at her arch nemesis, the bain to her current existence and popped the pill into her mouth washing it down with water sinking to the floor and curling into a ball as she began to cry.


	10. Chapter 10

Three days of meds and Donna still didn't feel better. She certainly wasn't happy about the fact that Jack was coming by nightly and was angered by his constant suggestions to come to Torchwood. Was it seriously to much just to be alone? Her and the Doctor?

Donna was sitting on the floor looking through the various databases on the laptop provided to her for anything on the Doctor in America as he was playing with his toys not far away. "Of course he was at the Boston tea party," she sighed scanning through various articles highlighting the United States. Most had nothing to do with her Doctor focusing on mentions of someone named Peri and Erimem, sightings in a town called Mercy with a female and male companion, one at the OK Corral, a run in with Richard Nixon, and another sighting at a New Year's Eve party in 2000 with someone named Charlie. In fact, from what she could tell the only time this incarnation was ever in the USA was with Martha in New York fighting daleks during the great depression and during a brief run in at area 51. "This is hopeless," she blurted allowing the computer to hit the carpet with a thump. Seeing the Doctor play with wooden blocks Donna reached into her pocket retrieving her cell phone and dialing the now familiar number.

"Hello gorgeous," Jack answered, "can I take this call as a sign you've changed your mind about coming in," he hoped.

She rolled her eyes, "no. Well," she paused, "hopefully not. Does the laptop have the same files you have at Torchwood," Donna questioned.

"Everything but the physical evidence," he responded. She could hear the squeak of Jack's chair as he spun around, "there could be something in there. I take it you've found nothing?"

Frowning Donna leaned back onto the floor staring up at the apartment ceiling, "no. I don't know what to do. He's only been there twice from what I can tell. I'm off my game," she complained.

"Go for a walk and drop by. Maybe you'll see something here," he suggested.

She worried her lip, "I don't really feel like it," Donna lied.

"It could spark a memory," hinted Jack who was only met with silence. He took a deep breath, "Donna you don't know unless you try. You want the Doctor back. We're doing everything we can but you are the only one who has the memories other than him," he reminded her.

Donna knew Jack had her there. It was the one thing she wanted more than anything. "We'll be by sometime later," she begrudgingly agreed.

"Good, I'll order in," Jack smiled through the phone.

"You'll do no such thing," Donna ordered, "this is simply work. Once I'm done I'm going home," she explained.

Her response was met with a chuckle, "you have to eat Donna," he tried, "make sure to bring the Doctor along so we can have some guy time," he snickered.

"I don't even want to know what that means," she flipped back. "I'm going now," Donna warned before hanging up. Setting the phone down beside her Donna felt a small hand on her knee. Sitting up she saw the Doctor on his shins looking up at her, "what are you doing," she beamed reaching up and pulling the Doctor to her as he squealed in joy beginning to babble. He had a block in one of his hands and Donna plucked the D from him tossing it over with the rest, "do you want to go visit Jack at Torchwood," she inquired.

The baby Doctor slobbered down his front as he clung to her, smiling and continuing to excitedly babble. He pulled himself up tugging on Donna's shirt, "oh I see what you want," she blurted. "Alright then," Donna sighed scooping him as she pulled herself and the computer off the ground making her way to the bedroom. Setting it down on the side table Donna fluffed her pillow ensuring that her back would be supported before plopping herself down and shifting her clothes around to feed the young Doctor. He latched on immediately grasping at her breast with his hand as he stared up at her meeting her eyes. "You make a pretty good excuse to stand Jack up," she chuckled gazing into his adorable brown ones.

Forty minutes later when the Doctor's belly was full he was fighting his routine after snack nap. Down the hall he groggily crawled beginning to cry because he didn't know what to do with himself. Donna trailed behind him, "what mister man," she sighed gathering him back up. Rocking him on her hip she strolled into his room grabbing a handful of books, "why don't we read," Donna suggested taking him back to her room.

Settling into bed Donna pulled the blankets close around them tucking the Doctor into her lap, "let's see. "What do you want to read," she cooed fanning the books out in front of them, "_The Very Hungry Caterpillar_, _If You Give a Mouse a Cookie_, _Harold and the Purple Crayon_, _Guess How Much I Love You_, or _Pat the Bunny_, what one," she questioned watching the Doctor for where his interest laid. He squealed in delight reaching for the white and green cover showcasing a tiny mouse in blue overalls.

"If you give a mouse a cookie, he's going to ask for a glass of milk," Donna began as the Doctor stared at the pictures of a mouse standing on a kitchen counter. "When you give him the milk, he'll probably as you for a straw," she laughed continuing on. Donna pressed a kiss to the side of the Doctor's head, "he seems a lot like you in the kitchen," she giggled as the Doctor tried to turn the pages for her. He leaned his head against her breast still watching the pages, "I think you missed a page," Donna corrected noticing the Doctor swipe through two instead of one, "Then he'll want to look in a mirror to make sure he doesn't have a milk mustache," she continued as the Doctor rested his head against her now covered breast. "When he looks in the mirror, he might notice his hair needs a trim," she began again noticing that the Doctor's eyes began to close. Donna watched him as she went through one more page, "When he looks in the mirror, he might notice his hair needs a trim," she laughed as the Doctor's arms fell down at his side like he had suddenly became a wet noodle in her arms.

She gently closed the book staring down at him, so precious and sweet in her arms. Donna carefully shifted him beside her as she curled around him watching him sleep. His long lashes fluttered as he fast entered into deep sleep. Donna closed her eyes next to him after watching his tiny chest rise and fall as he breathed in and out.

Three hours later Donna woke to an empty bed and a dark room. "Doctor," she called frantically searching for the light switch. Donna looked around at her unmade but very empty bed, "Doctor," she yelled jumping out of the bed and searching around the floor. "Where are you," she worried. How stupid could she be falling asleep with a crawling baby.

Her door opened, "he's fine," Jack said walking in holding a smiling Doctor.

"What is wrong with you? Why do you always take my baby," she angrily shouted pulling the Doctor from him ad frightening him with her own worry. "Shhh," Donna tried to calm him not having intended to scare him.

Jack stepped back from her, "I thought you could use a break," he offered. "Chinese is on the counter when you calm down," Jack cautioned.

Caring less about what he had to say Donna hugged the Doctor close, feeling his heart beat race against her own. Donna looked up at Jack catching her breath again, "I'm sorry," she offered Jack as the Doctor placed a small but steady hand on her chest as if to reassure her.

"I didn't mean to scare you," he apologized.

"You never do but you come in here doing the same thing and expect a different result," Donna scolded.

A smile crossed his face, "isn't that the definition of insanity? Funny how you seem to be doing the same thing," he noted. "I'll be in the living room when you're done sulking but I'm not leaving until you agree to come to Torchwood with me," he told her leaving Donna and the Doctor alone in her room.

She looked down at the infant in her arms, "why are you friends with that man," she sighed bouncing him up and down. The Doctor just looked at her brightly smiling so that both his dimples shone. Donna leaned in pressing a kiss to each one, "you are so flipping cute like this," she beamed allowing the anxiety to be washed away by his giggles of glee, "and I swear to God if you even slightly remember this I'll deny everything," she laughed.

Donna slunk out into the living room with her tail between her legs after the smell of food finally made her stomach grumble with desire. She knew it was almost time to feed the Doctor again but Donna also knew that she needed to eat something herself. Jack was sitting on the couch watching the telly. He didn't even look up as she sauntered in plopping the Doctor in his lap although a small smile broke across his face as he knew he had won. "Mushu is on the right," he guided.

Looking at the vast array Donna made herself a plate, with plenty of her favorite Mushu pork. She always had loved those little pancakes for some reason and remembered how the first time she had ordered it with the Doctor he was completely confused as to how to eat food inside a pancake spilling it all down the front of his tie. Sitting on the other end of the couch Donna watched the Doctor pulling on Jack's buttons and trying to pry his watch from his wrist unsuccessfully, deciding to gnaw on it instead.

"When you're ready say the word," Jack prodded.

She looked up shocked, "you're awfully sure of yourself," Donna replied.

"I just know people well and I know that you would do anything for the Doctor. That means leaving the house and coming to Torchwood whether you want to or not," he said offering her a wink.

Her eyes fluttered back to her meal ignoring his response, "you know nothing about me Jack Harkness," she growled taking another bite. Jack didn't respond right away. Instead he sat there quietly for a moment as if thinking over his options before deciding on his course of action. Standing he grabbed his coat and the Doctors from the rack, "what are you doing," Donna questioned.

"The Doctor and I will be playing," his voice trailed off as he slipped the coat onto the Doctor's tiny arms, "with the pterodactyl," he added before shutting the door behind him.

Pterodactyl, over her dead body. Donna set the food on the cushion next to her and hurried to the door but Jack and the Doctor were already out of sight. She pushed her slippers onto her feet rushing down the stairs after them. Reaching the bottom of the stairs Donna practically keeled over out of breath, "I've got to start working out," she panted adjusting her breasts which had tried to knock her out on the way down.

When she had finally gathered herself and made the few feet to the Torchwood base Jack was sitting at his desk with the Doctor in front of him giggling in glee as he tickled him, "she can't see what is the best for her right now," Jack said aloud pretending like she wasn't there. "I know you asked me to look after her if anything should ever happen but she is more stubborn than you. The two of you together are a right fit," he continued.

She hovered in his doorway, "he asked you to take care of me," Donna questioned confused.

Jack looked up smiling, "yeah. He worries about you. I imagine he worries about us all as if he didn't have enough on his shoulders," looking down at the infant who was chewing on his fingers.

Donna came up beside him, "he's a good man. For an alien," she paused.

"He does have his faults," Jack added.

"Oh, I'm fully aware of that she laughed harder than she should have. Gaining her breath again Jack was watching her oddly. "What," Donna worried, "do I have something on my face?"

He shook his head, "no. I haven't seen you smile like that this entire time. More or less laugh like that," he noted. "Has anyone ever told you how beautiful you are when you laugh," questioned Jack.

"Now I know you're lying," she sighed reaching out for the Doctor, "I think you've had enough fun for one day. You certainly aren't going to be playing with any dinosaurs.

Turning to prevent her from reaching the Doctor Jack scooted back in his chair, "as long as you're here," he began pointing to a wall of boxes, "all of those contain information about the Doctor," he supplied.

"I know what you did and I understand but I'm just not in the mood," she confessed.

"Donna, this isn't your fault. I know you think it is but it isn't," he tried.

She scooted around him successfully taking the Doctor into her arms, "you don't know that," she shushed him, "you can't because I don't even know that," Donna admitted.

"I know that you would never do anything to hurt the Doctor," he started, "but if you won't look for an answer then you are going to continue to blame yourself," Jack tried to get her to understand.

Flopping onto his couch she didn't want to confess her body still ached from that little bit of exercise, "suppose I do look and I find nothing? Then what?"

"Then we move onto the next thing," answered Jack. "That's how life is. We have to keep going and we will," he addressed.

Worrying her lip she refused to look at Jack instead focusing on the Doctor who was now chewing on his robot, "I don't see how I can move on when he's stuck like this," she whispered barely audible.

"Then don't move on, fight to find a way to help him," he boomed startling her. "I know you have things going on, I know you are keeping a lot inside Donna. I'm trying to be there for you, to prove that you can trust me but I don't know how to help you if you don't tell me what you need," he explained.

Donna could feel the tears brimming at her eyes, "I don't know what to do. I don't know anything other than I miss the Doctor and desperately want him back," she whispered.

Standing Jack walked over to where Donna was sitting beside her, "then let's get to work," he said taking her hand and leading her towards the room they had filled with anything related to the Doctor. "This is everything we have on him," Jack showed her opening one of the boxes. "Some of it are things that belonged to one of his regenerations, other is stuff that we've kept from UNIT," he paused, "if this doesn't turn anything up we could always turn there. They have a special area with things of his and files I can only imagine about over there."

"Yeah," Donna said distracted by a strange but familiar pen in the box Jack had opened. She reached in grasping it in her hand and pressing the clicker. The pen's tip light up blue as it began pulsing, "a sonic pen. The sonic pen. Oh my God," she gasped. But whatever Jack's response was went unnoticed.

Suddenly Donna was in a white room sitting at a desk. In her hand was a pen, she was watching someone sign their name on an oak desk, "John Smith," she read aloud. No. That wasn't right. It was the Doctor he was signing John Smith. She looked up at him as he handed her the pen, "your turn sweetheart," he chimed handing the pen over so she could sign her own name. She took the pen from him and began to do as told, initiating in several areas. Where were they? Look around the room she chanted to herself hoping for another clue, anything for where they were. "Adoptive mother," she read from below the line she was signing.

"Donna, Donna are you okay," Jack worried kneeling by her side now holding the Doctor.

She blinked her eyes up at him, "yeah," she said drawing a long breath, "I think so."

"Are you sure," he asked as she began to get up.

Accepting his hand of help to get from the floor Donna collapsed in a nearby chair. "I don't know. It was weird. One second I was here holding the sonic pen the next I was in an office with the Doctor," she started to explain.

"Did you remember something," Jack prodded eagerly.

"Yeah," she nodded slowly, "we were at an adoption agency. I don't know why. I didn't see a name. But we were adopting," she said in confused disbelief. "He called me sweetheart," she recalled as a shiver ran down her spine.

Jack settled beside her, "do you think? Is it possible you two have been together," he carefully asked.

"No," she dismissed, "no. We couldn't. I'd have remembered that," she stopped and met his gaze, "I would remember being with him right," Donna begged of him to confirm.

He looked at the Doctor within his arms, "I would think that one would remember a relationship but if something traumatic happened and with your memory gaps," he began.

"They aren't gaps," she protested, "I can't remember. I wish I could," she said allowing silence to fall between them. Donna was not feeling extremely queasy. "I think I'm going to go back. I'm not feeling well at all," she said standing. Donna was so out of sorts that she didn't even grab the Doctor from Jack, she just began walking to the entrance.

Jumping up and following her Jack cradled the Doctor, "let me walk you home," he offered. She didn't even protest just slowed down to Jack's pace.

Coming to the surface Donna still didn't care. Her mind was reeling. Could they have been a couple? What had they been doing at an adoption agency? Were they adopting? She really was barren and old and something had happened that completely bollixed everything up and where was he? Nowhere to be found.

"I'm going to stay," Jack told her as Donna unlocked the door.

Walking through it she didn't bother to even look at him, "okay," she numbly said going and crawling into her comforting bed. How had things gotten so out of control? And where did they go from here? How did she get back? What worried her the most was that this whole time she had thought that remembering would be beneficial. That it would make everything magically better. But the truth of the matter was nothing was magic. It didn't exist.


	11. Chapter 11

She didn't mean to pull back from Jack but she just couldn't process what was going on in her head. Could she be married to the Doctor? She had to know. Picking the computer up Donna turned the bedside light on. Logging into the Torchwood files she typed in Doctor and marriage hoping that something might pop up.

"1562 marriage to Queen Elizabeth I," she read aloud, "well so much for her being a virgin," Donna scoffed. "1782, married to a Scarlette in order to tie him to Earth," she made a mental note to ask him about that later wondering if that's why he really kept returning. Other than that there was just one engagement to an Aztec but most of the articles were about all the marriages he had interrupted or been present at. Scrolling down Donna gasped seeing a photograph of herself and the Doctor. Her white dress and the Doctor's lean frame. He looked so young. That felt like lifetimes ago. She looked at another picture of them, he was putting a ring on her finger. "The ring," she exclaimed looking down. It was the same golden biodamper. It was the biodamper! They weren't married.

Rushing out into the living room Donna found Jack where she had left him, "we aren't married," she told him. "Look," Donna said pushing the computer into his lap, "see same ring," she beamed. "I didn't forget. We aren't married."

"Then why would you be wearing it," he asked.

Rolling her eyes she took the computer back, "it's a biodamper. The Doctor gave it to me when we first met. It has nothing to do with," she paused. "It masks the bio-signature of the individual making me untraceable," she muttered recalling what the Doctor had once told her. Closing her eyes she tried to recall the flashback she had. The Doctor's hand. Was he wearing a ring to? She played over the quick snippets and saw a flash of gold, "he was wearing one too," she recalled. Her eyes widened, "we were hiding who we were," she whispered turning to Jack, "whatever we were doing it was big."

The Doctor giggled crawling over to her and tugged on her pants, "are you saying this was caused by what you two were doing," Jack questioned.

"It had to be," Donna said picking the Doctor up and pressing a kiss to his chubby little cheeks, "do you remember," she hoped looking into his swirling brown eyes. He tugged on her shirt, "oh that's what you want," she sighed. Closing the computer the rest of the way she pulled a blanket over from the couch top to cover herself while feeding the Doctor.

Jack place a hand on her shoulder, "this is a great start. It's something to go on," he offered. "I know how you are when you put your mind to it," Jack told her, "only you and I have ever found the Doctor without the help on another. It's a special club," he mentioned nudging her to the side playfully.

"Then why does it feel like it's not enough," she pouted.

He turned facing her, "because it won't be until you have him back." Standing he made his way over to the fridge, "you have hardly anything in here," he accused, "what do you want or dinner? I'm going to make a run to the store again."

Donna rolled her eyes, "you don't have to," she began.

"I want to. Haven't you realized that yet," he pushed, "will you two be alright," he ensured.

Patting the Doctor's back as she fed Donna smiled down at him, "we're always alright," she promised allowing him to leave.

Removing the blanket she looked down at the Doctor who was beginning to kick signaling that he was almost full, "I wish you could just tell me where to look. You're so much better at this. I'm better with you. We're quite a team you know," she sighed.

The Doctor stilled meeting her gaze and for a moment, albeit brief she swore she saw her best friend. He detached allowing her to fix her top and smiled brightly at her milk dried around his mouth. "What happened there," she pled feeling the tears well up in her eyes. As he tried to sit up she adjusted him and he laid his head against her chest momentarily as if he was hugging her. That was one of the things she missed most of all, his hugs. Well, other than the simple sound of his rambling voice. He sat up again and Donna couldn't resist tickling his full tummy. Squealing in ecstasy she watched his tiny toes curl inside his onesie, "I'm going to have to see if you do that as a grown adult," she laughed at his feet.

Lying down she turned the telly on, "what do you want to watch," she giggled as the Doctor started gnawing on the remote effectively changing the channels as he chewed. Donna pulled him up close to her snuggling into the crook of his neck. "You still smell like him," she paused, "like you," no that wasn't right either, "you smell normal," he voice squeaked. Relaxing his head against her face he dropped the remote leaving a slobber trail falling down his front. Automatically wiping it she rolled her eyes, "you're a right mess," Donna laughed, "and I wouldn't have it any other way," she clarified pressing a kiss to his cheek.

Hearing the door jostle she looked up, "what did you do forget your key," she chided raising to open it. Before Donna made it to the door it burst open. In front of her stood two figures in black.

"Shit, you there's someone I this one. What do we do," the one snapped at the other as Donna backed up holding the Doctor closer to her. "Oi, stop it right there," he called grabbing her elbow before she could put much space between them.

She leaned the side of her body without the Doctor toward them trying to create as much space as possible, "please take whatever you want just don't hurt by baby," she begged.

The other closed the door behind him, "your baby is the last thing we're after," he told her walking closer. He reached up and grabbed a curl of her hair winding it around his finger, "we continue as planned," he told his partner, "if she cooperates maybe we'll have time for a detour," he smiled through his mask.

"Please," she begged.

"Sit down and shut up," he demanded shoving her down on the couch.

The other man came up to him, "fifteen minutes in and out," he reminded his peer.

The first man crouched in front waving a knife from his pocket, "anyone else in the house," he dared make sure she saw the blade.

"No, no, I'm the only one," she promised.

He reached out and patted her head, "now that's a good girl," he prodded turning to his partner, "get everything," he told his partner. Noticing he hadn't left he took a deep breath, "go," he demanded.

"I promise I won't say anything. I haven't seen your face and I'll count to a thousand or whatever you want," she tried to reason with him. "If you let me go I won't say a word," Donna continued hoping she could appeal to him.

Once his partner had left his knife holding hand trailed downward taking inventory of Donna's body, "I have plans for you," he purred. "Come here, let me get a better look at you," he said pulling her up so she was standing.

"I got chow mein," Jack beamed popping open the door arms full.

Flummoxed the perpetrator pushed her to the wall holding a knife to her neck and pointed his gun pointing at Jack, "get out here," he yelled at his partner. "You lied to us. You said you were alone," he growled.

"Hey, hey. Don't hurt her," Jack yelled. "Why play with a girl when you can play with a man," he winked dropping the bags and pulling his own gun.

The other burglar came out from the bedroom. Seeing the situation before him he panicked, "let's get whatever cash they have and get out of here," he almost begged his own partner pointing his gun too at Jack.

"No," he argued pulling her to him as if she was a shield.

Jack inched forward, "we don't want any trouble," he coaxed, "I'm going to grab my wallet. You can take it. Go ahead and take her purse too. Go on and get," he suggested.

"What would you do to keep your wife and child safe? How much do you have in the bank," the first man asked.

She could see Jack's trigger finger flinch. Donna wouldn't have cared if the Doctor wasn't still in her arms, "Jack don't," she warned. Trying to look at her captor she tried to plead to his inner something, "I give you whatever you want. Whatever," she clarified, "just please let Jack take my baby. Let him take him to safety," she pled.

"So that he can leave and go get help? I don't think so. I'm no idiot," he spat.

Donna shook her head furiously, "no, no, I don't think you are. So then. Your buddy here can stay out here with his eyes on Jack. Let Jack take my son and we can go in the back," she hinted swallowing hard.

"Don't," Jack began to protest.

She couldn't even meet Jack's eyes, "after you're done, take my money, take his, just leave simple as that," she attempted to coax him.

"Let's just go," the other growled.

It caught her off guard enough that she quickly looked up and Jack grabbed her attention by mouthing to her, "duck," he said. Shaking her head Donna couldn't let him try to save them. She couldn't risk the Doctor and Jack's life. "Duck," he mouthed again adding a head nod to the right with it. Instead of following his instructions Donna stood firm. She could see his finger itching to pull the trigger, "three," Jack whispered, "two," he continued as his finger tightened on the trigger. For fuck's sake he was actually going to do it no matter what, "one," he mouthed before yelling, "duck," as a gunshot rang out followed by several others. Donna dove into the hallway protecting the Doctor with her body.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck," she heard one of the assailants yelling as she crawled into the Doctor's room. Donna put him in the crib using her strength to push the bookcase in front of the door. Getting it properly lodged she grabbed him and hid in the closet, "shhh," she comforted him struggling to reach the cellphone in her pocket. Donna was shaking as she tried to dial 999 so much that she hit the eight twice and had to clear the number just to call emergency.

It felt like forever before she heard a friendly voice, "emergency, what service do you require," the operator asked.

"Um, police, no ambulance, I think I need both," she whimpered.

There was a knock at the door shifting her attention away from the phone call. Her breath hitched it was him, he wanted her to fulfil her promise. "Donna," called Jack through the door, "Donna, it's all right. You can come out. We'll sort everything out," he promised.

"Sorry. Never mind, I was mistaken," she told the operator hanging up. Donna crawled out of the closet, pressing a kiss to the Doctor's head as she set him in the crib. She had to use her entire back to push the bookcase from its place of protection. Pushing the door open Jack looked worse for the wear but he was alive. She threw her arms around him, "I've never been happier to see you," Donna declared hugging him within an inch of his life. When he hugged her back she let go taking account of any wounds he may have. There was a bullet hole through his jacket, "Jack," she exclaimed pulling his coat back and seeing the blood soaked through his shirt. But when she looked at the hole there was nothing penetrating the skin.

Her finger grazed where there should be a bullet, "I can't die," he confessed.

"What," Donna squeaked, "at all?

He through his head back in laughter, "neither I nor the Doctor know," Jack explained..

"The Doctor," how could she have temporally forgotten about him? Turning she swooped him back up in her arms hugging him to her chest and making sure he was okay too. "Not a scratch on him," she smiled kissing his chubby cheeks.

Jack raised his hand to where the knife had been swiping his finger across it as she winced in pain, "you're bleeding," he realized.

"It's nothing," dismissed Donna.

Taking her arm much nicer than the attackers had he leaned in closer to get a look, "I need to wash it to see how deep," he declared guiding her to her bedroom to sit. "Do you have a first aid kit," he asked rummaging through the bathroom.

Donna stared at the Doctor rocking him gently, "yeah, it's under the sink," she said. "You're so brave. You didn't even cry once," she proclaimed smiling at him.

"Like that even scared him," Jack laughed, "he's been in closer scrapes. We both have," he admitted opening the case and removing an alcohol wipe. "This might hurt a bit," he warned putting the swab to where she had been cut.

Breathing in quickly she tried not to whine, "nope, not one bit," she lied refusing to take her eyes off the Doctor.

"Donna, you're shaking," noticed Jack. He moved the first aid kit sitting beside her and holding her, "you're safe now. It's okay," he comforted.

"You don't know that. What if they come back," she protested

He pulled back meeting her eyes, "one is tied up with a flesh wound to his leg. I will find out who his partner is and guarantee they will never be back," he promised.

"Someone else could break in," Donna sobbed.

Jack thought for a moment, "you're right, they could," he confessed.

"Thanks," she scoffed.

Tightening his arm around her Jack guided her head to his shoulder, "I will make sure that doesn't happen. Someone is going to always be with you from now on. It is dangerous out there and if someone found out about the Doctor you could be in danger so we are going to ensure that never happens," he told her.

"Really," she almost begged.

He nodded, "yes," confirmed Jack. "I'm going to call my team and we are going to clean this mess up. You stay in here, relax, don't worry about a thing," he proposed.

Donna tried to relax, tried to focus on the Doctor, tried to watch a movie, tried anything but focusing on what was going on outside in her living room. Finally her curiosity got the best of her when she was listing to pops coming from outside the room, "what are you doing," she asked walking in on Ianto using an odd looking machine on the carpet.

"Getting the blood out love," he explained.

She nodded, "oh," Donna said looking around, "where's Jack?"

"He's out at the moment," Ianto said continuing to clean, "can I get you a cuppa?"

Shaking her head she snickered at his proposition, "I should be offering you that," Donna laughed adjusting the Doctor on her hip. "Do you want one," she asked.

"I'd love one," he agreed allowing her to make tea.

The kettle had just began to scream when Jack returned, "what are you doing out here," he asked shocked to see her up and about.

"It's my flat," she reminded him.

Jack met her eyes after locking the door, "actually no," he joked. "You should be in bed relaxing," he said.

"I was hungry," protested Donna.

Coming up beside her Jack guided her back to towards the hall, "then I will bring you something to eat," he argued.

"I'm not a child," huffed Donna.

"I know," he promised, "you just don't need to be around this right now."

She couldn't believe how he was treating her. Fuming she burst back into the living room, "I don't know what you think you're doing Jack Harkness," she paused seeing Ianto and Jack in the middle of a kiss, "oh. Oh, I'm so sorry," she stammered covering the Doctor's eyes and she backed out of the room. "If you wanted privacy you could have just said," she giggled leaving them alone.

A little while had passed before there was a knock on her door, "I have dinner," Jack offered opening the door.

"Thanks," Donna smiled. Noticing he was going to sit she shook her head, "no go out and be with Ianto," she insisted.

Jack took a bite of prawns, "he's already gone."

"Oh, he didn't have to leave on my account," she offered.

Reclining on the bed he shrugged his shoulders, "I know," he offered yawning.

"You can sleep in here," suggested Donna, "I mean if you want," she added.

His eyes widened, "really," Jack clarified.

"Yeah, why not," she shrugged.

Standing Jack slid his jacket off, "if you insist," he chuckled beginning to undress.

"What are you doing," Donna protested when he took his pants off.

He turned around to face her, "I sleep in my pants," he said unbuttoning his shirt, "is that not okay," asked Jack.

"No, it's fine," she clarified taking another bite of chicken. Jack crawled into the bed beside her, "shove over," she said motioning to him.

"What," Jack protested.

"Well, you're not sleeping next to me," she sassed placing the Doctor between them.

He burst into laughter rubbing the Doctor's belly, "even now you're preventing me from getting too close to your companions," he sighed watching Donna set the empty containers aside and turn off the light. "Never changes," he chuckled as Donna cuddled into the bed clothes with the Doctor.


End file.
